Three Secret Service officers have been put on administrative leave after a night of heavy drinking that left one passed out in a hotel hallway, just hours before they were to begin "protecting" President Obama in Amsterdam. 

- Hey...at least they didn't hire any prostitutes like the Secret Service guys in Colombia did! 

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Meanwhile President Obama says he's much more concerned about a nuclear detonation in Manhattan than he is about Vladimir Putin. 

- So he's worried about NYC getting bombed while his Secret Service guys are getting bombed in Amsterdam. 

- Speaking of Vladimir Putin, he's officially changing the name of "Ukraine" to "MyKraine". 

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It's official...Weather experts now confirm that the majority of the U.S. has experienced the coldest October through March since 1912. That's 102 years. 

- At this rate, Kwame Kilpatrick is gonna get "Sprung" before Spring does. 

- The record for the coldest winter in Washington D.C. was set in 1998 when Hilary found out about Monica. 

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With March 31st looming, the Obama Administration has extended the deadline for signing up for Obamacare until mid-April. It's supposed to be for people who tried to sign up but couldn't complete the process, but the administration says they won't check to see if people are telling the truth. 

- It's only fair. If the Prez doesn't have to tell the truth about Obamacare, why should we? 

- This thing has changed deadlines more often than Taylor Swift changes boyfriends. 

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Justin Bieber unveiled a series of new tattoos on Instagram, including one that reads: "I Love Korea". 

- Another example that his career is going to the dogs. 

- Move over Dennis Rodman! It's time for a little "Bad Pop Music Diplomacy"! 

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Researchers say that bad posture caused by playing games and texting on your cell phone can lead to cardiovascular problems and an early death. 

- It's so bad engaged couples are changing their vows to "'Til Angry Birds Do Us Part". 

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Massachusetts is considering a law that would make it illegal for divorced couples to have sex if they still live together. 

- But isn't "Make-Up Sex" the best kind? 

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Former TV star "Judge Joe Brown" was sentence to five days in jail after his violent outburst in a courtroom during a real life custody case. 

- The guys he sent to the slammer are REALLY looking forward to catching up with him in the yard!

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick