It was 16 years ago today that Viagra was approved for use in the United States. 

- And men have been giving it a standing ovation ever since. 

- It was created by drug giant Pfizer, not some "start-up" company like you might expect. 

- To honor the event, Congress was going to fly all flags at half-staff...but that seemed to defeat the purpose. 

*****

President Obama is in Vatican City meeting with Pope Francis. 

- The President will spend most of his time keeping the Secret Service agents away from the Communion Wine Cabinet. 

*****

Oprah will appear at the Palace in September as part of her women's empowerment "The Life You Want" weekend" tour.

- Most people want "The Life Oprah Has" but chances are good they're not gonna get it.

Tickets start at $99, but for just $1000 you can get a "meet and greet" with Oprah.

- So you get "empowered" and you bank account gets "devoured".

*****

There's a new app called RunPee that alerts you to the best times to go to the bathroom during movies, so you won't miss anything important. It tells you how many minutes into the film you should go, a sample of the dialogue to listen for prior to your "Pee Break", and will even set off an alarm for you. 

- It's the #1 app on the market!

- I entered "The Lone Ranger" on the app and it said "Pee Before Movie Starts...And Stay In Bathroom Til It Ends...Kemosabe". 

*****

A Gubernatorial candidate in Massachusetts fought through intense pain and actually passed a kidney stone during a televised debate with one of his rivals. 

- Usually it's the people watching the debate who feel like they're passing a kidney stone. 

- He's hasn't even been elected and he's already passed more than the U.S. Congress. 

*****

- Sources say the pilot of the doomed Malaysian Jet was mentally unfit to be flying a plane. He was reported upset that his wife was leaving him and he was having problems with his mistress. 

- Both women were annoyed that he never stopped and asked for directions! 

*****

Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin of the band "Coldplay" are calling it quits after 10 years of marriage. But Gwyneth won't call it "Divorce"...she calls it "Conscious Uncoupling". 

- And we're not having a "Lousy Spring", we're having a "Deeply Committed Winter". 

*****

Private businesses in Russia have banned President Obama from shopping in their stores. 

- Well there goes his shopping trip to "The Home Dacha" and "Toys Czar Us!". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a BRAND NEW Podcast! (#115)

-Dick