After last weeks "wardrobe malfunction", Buckingham Palace hired a full-time aide to shield Kate Middleton's rear end from photographers.
- I'm okay with that...as long as they leave her sister Pippa's butt alone.
- The Queen is said to be upset and literally has her panties in a bunch.
*****
RIP...Ann B. Davis. The 88 year old actress best known for her role as the lovable housekeeper for the "Brady Bunch" died Sunday morning after a fall.
- Her last words were "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia".
- On the bright side, if you're a housekeeper looking for a man, Sam the Butcher is now available.
*****
Casey Kasem was rushed to a Seattle hospital by ambulance for medical treatment yesterday - but it wasn't easy. Casey's 2nd wife Jean, threw a pound of raw meat at his daughter Kerri (from his first marriage). A judge recently made Kerri his caretaker.
- That's the last time Kerri will go over to Jean's house for a burger.
*****
Prostitutes in Brazil are taking English lessons in preparation for the upcoming World Cup in which England will be playing.
- So far they've learned two words: "Cash Only".
- But isn't "Love" the Universal language?
- The lessons will come in handy with all the customers who just want to talk.
*****
Google officially unveiled their self-driving car, which doesn't have a steering wheel or a brake pedal.
- You can tell it was designed by men. The car refuses to stop and ask for directions.
*****
Melissa Etheridge married her longtime girlfriend in California over the weekend.
- The wedding went off without a hitch until they got to the hotel and started arguing over who got to carry who over the threshold.
*****
Donald Sterling caused quite a stir when he showed up for a service at a predominantly black church in LA on Sunday.
- Church goers said the last white celebrity to attend services there was Michael Jackson.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! And don't forget to check out my latest Podcast (#123) with daughters Jackie (#2) and JoAnne (#4)! Click here to listen!
-Dick