A bride and groom have come under fire after attaching their one month old daughter to the train of her mom's wedding dress.
- Isn't the groom the one who's usually dragged down the aisle?
- The Bride said she wanted to keep with tradition and wear "Something Old & Something Newborn".
- I've heard of getting "dumped" at the Altar...but never by someone wearing Pampers.
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Researchers at Howard Hughes University have located the gene that produces blonde hair in women.
- They've named the gene "Clairol #57"
- I knew someone would get to the root of this eventually. (bada boom!)
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Google is spending $1 Billion on satellites that will bring internet service to the entire planet.
- Don't believe me? Google it.
- If you thought Santa and Mrs. Claus had the perfect marriage, just wait until the North Pole gets internet porn.
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Fugitive Taliban boss, Mullah Omar, declared victory after exchanging one American POW for five high level Taliban detainees from GITMO.
- In fact he hung up a banner in Arabic that translated to: "Mission Accomplished!"
- Taliban leaders were so excited by the move they blew up thousands of balloons and suicide bombers.
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Singer Chris Brown was released after 108 days in prison and vows to change his ways.
- He figures if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
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Speaking of train wrecks...Police have located Miley Cyrus's $105,000 Maserati that was stolen from her home.
- Police say that, unlike Miley, the car is in perfect condition and barely has any miles on it.
- What kind of a Twerk steals a girl's car?
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick