If anybody actually cares... We finally know what Kayne West gave his new bride Kim Kardashian for a wedding gift: An expensive, nearly nude portrait of Kim from behind, wearing only a G-String and high heels. It's called "Perfect B*tch".
- And people say old-fashioned romance is dead!
- Most of the money went to buy enough paint to capture Kim's butt.
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As talk of a movie deal heats up, a new report claims that Bowe Bergdahl left a note in his Army tent saying he wanted to start a new life in Afghanistan.
- The movie is tentatively called "Why Are We Saving Private Bergdahl???"
- He's getting the medical attention he deserves...at a VA Hospital in Arizona.
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German Chancellor Angela Merkel missed a phone call from a friend who was competing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".
- Luckily, President Obama was tapping her phone at the time, but gave the wrong answer.
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Pope Francis says people shouldn't substitute pets for children because it leads to bitterness in old age.
- Especially cat owners...who's feline "friends" will pack them up and ship them off to a nursing home at a moment's notice.
- Elderly dog owners will become bitter after Rover starts blowing through their money at Poker games.
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A new study says Americans like to start a diet on a Monday.
- Well today is Wednesday, so eat up!
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Today is "Old Maid's Day".
- Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger calls it, "Don't Forget To Get My Love Child's Mother A Card Day!"
- And to think of all the gifts Ann B. Davis would have gotten from the Brady Bunch if she'd just held on a few more days.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick