A survey by Charmin toilet paper found that 62% of Americans pee in the ocean to avoid filthy beach bathrooms.
- So if the water around the guy your swimming next to turns from blue to green, it's not algae.
- Now we know why whales throw themselves up on the beach.
- This gives a whole new meaning to an "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny YELLOW Polka Dot Bikini".
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A new book claims that Jackie Kennedy wanted to divorce JFK after she caught him having sex in the Oval Office.
- Which time?
- According to the book, "Camelot" was more like "Wham-Bam-Thank-You-M'am-A-Lot".
*****
California Chrome drew the coveted number two post for Saturday's Belmont Stakes.
- Despite the good news, he's still got a long face.
*****
President Obama admitted the terrorist he traded for Bowe Bengdahl may attack us again someday.
- Gee...Ya think?
- The swap made good on his campaign slogan, "An Exchange You Can Believe In".
*****
Vladimir Putin made what many consider sexist comments about Hillary Clinton. Vlad said that Hillary's negative comments about him "Show weakness...which is maybe not the worst quality in a woman." He added that "It's best not to argue with women".
- That's the kind of thinking that got his last wife the house, the Kremlin, and half of Ukraine in their divorce.
*****
An Indian woman claims she saw the missing Malaysian Jet while she was sailing.
- She didn't mention whether it was flying or underwater at the time.
- You can hear more of her story 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on CNN.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick