Today is "National Kiss & Make-Up Day".
- Let's hope Vladimir Putin wears a shirt, or things between he and Obama could get out of hand.
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California's wine country was rocked by a massive 6.1 Earthquake early Sunday morning.
- The wine will now be used in Martini's since it's already been "Shaken...not stirred".
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A Florida mom was arrested for giving her daughter Tapeworms so she'd lose weight for a beauty pageant.
- Apparently that new Jenny Craig "Tapeworm Tortellini" is more popular than I thought.
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A Homeland Security spokesman says Al Qaeda is encouraging jihadists to target Las Vegas.
- This will give jihadists a chance to hone their romantic "techniques" on hookers so they'll really know how to make those 72 virgins happy.
- Our government is hoping that David Copperfield can make them disappear before they do any damage.
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A Swedish study say people have a higher probability of dying on payday.
- Especially if they're held up at gunpoint after leaving the bank.
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Lindsay Lohan is said to be dating a London investment banker.
- Apparently he's a whiz with Stocks & (sometimes) Blonds.
- The couple is said to be "over the moon"...either that or Lindsay mooned the paparazzi, I'm not sure.
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Lauren Bacall left $10,000 in her Will for her dog.
- The dog was so happy he dragged his but across the carpet and then ran around in circles for an hour and a half.
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A cast member on Playboy's "Dating Naked" is suing producers because they failed to blur out her private parts during a recent episode.
- Right now, thousands of men are calling Netflix to order that episode.
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President Obama is sending three White House officials to the Missouri funeral of Michael Brown.
- They will be non-essential government personnel including a Congressman, a Senator, and Joe Biden.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick