A Korean Restaurant in Central China is charging diners based on how good looking they are. A panel of plastic surgeons assess the customers looks when they come in and determine how much their meals will cost. People deemed "Beautiful" will eat for free.
- This being a Korean restaurant, if they think you're a dog, you're gonna end up paying a lot more for your Golden Retriever Kebobs.
*****
A mentally ill bartender who was recently fired from John Boehner's Country Club in Ohio has been arrested after claiming that he was planning on poisoning Boehner's drinks because the Speaker was "mean to him and responsible for Ebola".
- He says he got the whole "spike the drink" idea from his hero, Bill Cosby.
- Boehner was so upset he was red faced. Well actually...he was more orange faced.
*****
Woody Allen is writing and directing his first TV series for Amazon.
- I really thought he'd do something for Nickelodeon instead.
*****
An Oxford University study found that humans evolved from fish.
- They only studied one guy... Salmon Rushdie.
*****
Vanity Fair claims Taylor Swift had a breakdown after the Golden Globes when she saw her ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal dancing with a bunch of women.
- A bunch of women? We're not just gonna get a song out of this...we're gonna get a whole ALBUM.
*****
President Obama unveiled tough new cyber security legislation that will make it much harder on hackers.
- He's hiring the same guys who designed the Obamacare website so I think we can all sleep a little easier tonight.
*****
Matthew McConaughey's audition tape to play a stoner in "Dazed and Confused" has been leaked online.
- I think in this case "audition tape" is code for "home movie".
*****
Mike Huckabee officially released his new book entitled, "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy".
- They were going to make it into a movie but realized it would be cheaper to just show re-runs of "Duck Dynasty".
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick