At a little after 4pm London time this afternoon, 89 year old Queen Elizabeth will become the longest reigning monarch in British History at 63 years, 7 months, edging out her great-great Grandmother Queen Victoria.
- Crowds shouted "Long Live The Queen!"...and Prince Charles shouted back "She's Lived Long Enough!"
*****
Hero Jedi Fighter Sinjir Rath Velus announces he's gay in a new novel, which is part of the Star Wars franchise.
- He comes out when Princess Leia hits on him and he asks if she has a brother.
- His character is mostly monogamous, but admits to liking a little "Wookie on the side".
*****
Bob Bashara may testify in his appeals hearing next week claiming that his lawyers didn't put his affair and S&M Bondage lifestyle "in context". He says his attorneys failed to mention that he and his wife had a "marital understanding".
- Apparently the "understanding" included him hiring a hit man to kill her.
*****
A Canadian Parliament Candidate ended his campaign after he was caught relieving himself in a coffee mug.
- Is anyone surprised? The mug read #1 Candidate!
*****
Reports out of Hollywood say that David Beckham is in talks to be the next James Bond.
- He'll be the first Bond to "Head Bump" all of the bullets fired at him.
- In a related story, rumor has it the next "Bond Girl" will be Caitlyn Jenner.
*****
A letter from 1981 has surfaced in which Richard Nixon encourages Donald Trump to get into politics.
- Nixon originally taped the message, but Rosemary Woods erased it.
*****
Vanderbilt University is holding lectures for male students on what it means to have a healthy masculinity.
- They'll be lots of quizzes and a big Test-osterone at the end of the semester.
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick