An unnamed “senior aide” to then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton left classified information unsecured and unattended in a hotel room during a 2010 trip to China.

- But no worries... Chinese spies only took one classified item from Column A and one from Column B. 

*****

Meanwhile The Donald said Hillary's "getting debate questions ahead of time" makes her a terrible role model for his 10 year old son Barron. 

- When Barron asked about how someone could cheat like that, Trump said he was left "groping for a good answer". 

*****

Cher spoke at a Hillary Rally at MSU yesterday, saying that Hillary will show all of our little girls that a Woman can be President.

- And if Cher was running, she'd prove that a person made entirely of Plastic can be President. 

*****

Danney Williams, the 28 year old Arkansas man who claims that Bill Clinton is his biological father will hold a press conference at noon today to deliver what he calls "a bombshell announcement". 

- He doesn't have DNA proof... he's just going to announce that Bill slept with yet another Bombshell. 

*****

A 19 year old Texas A&M student crashed her car after taking a topless pic of herself to put on SnapChat. 

- When I was in college, if a girl put her top up while driving, it meant her Dad let her borrow his convertible. 

- Police described her as "Well-toned Arms & Dangerous".

*****

Toyota has invented a way to turn your Smartphone into a car key. 

- Which is great news for men who can now use their Smartphones as a toothpick. 

*****

Kim Jong Un's wife, Ri Sol-ju hasn't been seen in public in 7 months, sparking rumors that the North Korean dictator may have offed her like so many of his relatives. 

- NOTE TO FUTURE MRS. KJU's... Your "pillow talk" should NOT include a mention of his failed missile launches. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick