Kim Jong Un got drunk and ordered top North Korean officials to come to his villa and write letters of apology to him, but the next morning had no memory of it and asked why they were all at his house. 

- For once KJU was doing Jell-O shots instead of real ones. 

- We should all just be glad he didn't decide to play "Spin the Nuclear Missile".

*****

A Chinese newspaper says Donald Trump acted like an "Ignorant Child" by taking a phone call from Taiwan. 

- This from the country who has millions of Innocent Children working double-shifts at the "Trump 2016" T-Shirt Factory. 

*****

Uber has updated it's App so it will continue to track customers for 5 minutes after they they're dropped off. 

- So all those drunk Passengers may not know where they are... but their Uber driver will! 

*****

A Gallup Poll found that 49% of Americans want to abolish the Electoral College. 

- And the other 51% think the Electoral College needs a better football team.

*****

A psychic said that last night's "Supermoon"... the third in the last three months... may push Christmas shoppers over the edge, and claims she's had visions of "women fighting over shoes". 

- That's not a "vision"... That's just the average Saturday at every Mall in America. 

*****

According to a new report, the divorce rate in the US is at its lowest point in 40 years. 

- See, it's true. Misery DOES Love Company. 

*****

Bill Cosby has asked a Pennsylvania judge for a plea deal so he doesn't have to sit through a trial. 

- Why doesn't he just make himself one of his special cocktails... He'll sleep through the trial and won't remember a thing. 

*****

RIP... Alan Thicke, star of the 80's hit TV show "Growing Pains", who died yesterday of a heart attack at the age of 69. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick