I hope you had a super Easter! Of all the colored eggs my favorite is definitely Orange - in honor of my Alma Mater Syracuse making it to the NCAA Final Four!
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A report in the National Enquirer claims that Ted Cruz has been having affairs with 5 different women.
- Bill Clinton immediately criticized Cruz...calling him "an amateur".
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Donald Trump is a grandfather again. His daughter Ivanka gave birth to her third child, Theodore James, Sunday afternoon.
- At first he called the baby "Ugly"...but then realized it was a boy.
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A single mother in Australia has married the sperm donor that contributed to the conception of her child.
- She's even taking his name and will now be known as "Mrs. Donor #172".
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A study by InfoPlease found that Americans consume enough jelly beans on Easter to circle the globe 3 times.
- No one seems to know how many marshmallow chicks were eaten on Easter...in fact I haven't heard a Peep.
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President Obama used his Easter Address to assure Americans that he will stop at nothing to defeat ISIS.
- And he'll get to that as soon as the NCAA tournament is over. Until then, we probably won't hear a Peep out of him. (Sorry for using the same punchline, but it only comes around once a year.)
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An American Airlines co-pilot will face a judge today after being arrested at Metro Airport for failing a breathalyzer test before flying the plane.
- In addition to bail, the pilot will be forced to pay the airline for trying to board with too much emotional baggage.
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A study by NASA found that it would cost $10 Billion to start human colonies on the moon.
- But if it comes to that, or having your adult kids move into your basement, most people say they'd be willing to chip in for the colony.
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Despite almost unanimous bad reviews by critics, "Batman Vs. Superman" took in a whopping $170 Million in it's opening weekend.
- The critics were so embarrassed, they slipped into a phone booth and changed their minds.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick