He came in third place in the NY primary, but Ted Cruz was the talk of social media when a woman who bore a striking resemblance to him appeared on the  Maury Povich show to find out which of 5 men fathered her baby. 

- When Donald Trump sees this picture, he'll probably call her "Lyin' Unwed". 

*****

Speaking of Trump, he won big in the NY GOP Primary with 60% of the vote. Meanwhile Hillary Clinton, who beat Bernie Sanders by 20 points, told a radio station that she always carries hot sauce in her purse. 

- And female aides for Bill Clinton told the station their purses are full of pepper spray. 

*****

Goldman Sachs profits have tumbled by 60%. 

- 50% of the loss was due to paying for Hillary's speeches.

*****

A British study suggests that how long a person remains a virgin is actually written in their genes. 

- For example, if you wear tight jeans with "Booty Call" embroidered on the back, chances are you'll lose your virginity in high school. 

- And if you wear "Mom Jeans", chances are you'll never have sex again. 

*****

More than 500 people mailed in their tax returns late from the Coachella Music festival in California. 

- They were so high, even the single people filed a Joint return. 

*****

Officials in Great Britain asked Twitter users to name a new polar research boat. The winner: "Boaty McBoatface". 

- This is what happens when you give Spongebob a smartphone. 

*****

Michael Strahan is leaving "Live! with Kelly and Michael" to join "Good Morning America". FYI... Kelly Ripa wasn't told Michael was leaving until after the official announcement was made public. 

- The way things are going... Look for "Live! with Kelly and Bernie" coming to a television near you. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick