Trump and Clinton are projected to win their respective primaries in today's highly anticipated primary in New York. 

- A large turnout is expected, but experts say the number of registered voters in "the Bronx is up, but the Battery's down". 

*****

The AMC Theater chain has decided to cancel their plans to have a text-friendly theater for Millennials. 

- So now Millennials will just have to keep using their smartphones in non-text-friendly theaters like they always do. 

*****

A new book claims that Ringo Starr slept with over 1,000 women during his time as a Beatle. 

- Now all he's got is a bunch of photographs. 

- Ringo says he's not proud of his promiscuity...but is proud that he never slept with Yoko Ono. 

*****

A Stanford study revealed that non-smokers are 24% more likely to land jobs than smokers. 

- On the plus side, smokers have something to do while standing in the unemployment line. 

*****

David Hasselhoff has asked a court to allow him to stop paying spousal support to his ex-wife. 

- She didn't make the hearing...it took longer than she thought to run to the courthouse in slow motion while wearing her bikini. 

*****

"Real Housewives of New Jersey" star Teresa Giudice visited her husband in prison for the first time. 

- The visit was filmed for a new reality show: "The Real Conjugal Visits of New Jersey". 

***** 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick