Larry David played Bernie Sanders again on "Saturday Night Live" over the weekend. 

- They wanted Bernie to play himself, but he's not allowed to drive at night. 

*****

Two new polls show Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in a statistical dead. The same polls show them as the most disliked Presidential Candidates in U.S. history. 

- You know it's bad when you hear people talking about what a great guy "Tricky-Dickie" Nixon was. 

*****

An American man who joined ISIS for five months and then escaped back to the U.S. says joining up was "the worst decision" he's ever made. 

- He's obviously got a good head on his shoulders...and wanted to make sure it stayed that way. 

*****

A new report claims the producers of the "The Biggest Loser" encouraged contestants to starve themselves and take diet pills. 

- They were going to make them take laxatives too, but they would have had to change the show's name to "Game of Thrones". 

- This kind of thing never happens on The Food Network. 

*****

Madonna performed a tribute to Prince on last night's Billboard Music Awards. 

- She and Prince had a lot in common... he died because of drugs, and she's alive because of antibiotics. 

*****

Cher turned 70 over the weekend. 

- In honor of her birthday, she's releasing a new CD including the songs: "I Got Who Babe?" and "Gypsies, Muscle Cramps, & Thieves". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick