Today marks the 50th Anniversary of the television debut of "Star Trek".

- Trekkies everywhere are celebrating by continuing to "Live Long and Prosper" in their parents basement. 

- To fans, "Going where no man has gone before" means "out on a date".

*****

Hillary Clinton said that there is evidence that ISIS wants Donald Trump to win the Presidency. 

- Apparently she saw a satellite photo of a "Trump/Pence 2016" sign in the sand outside a cave in Syria.

*****

Meanwhile Donald Trump says that within his first 30 day in the White House, he will ask the Military to come up with a plan to wipe out ISIS.

- And Hillary vows to spend her first 30 days wiping out the rest of her emails. 

*****

Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz announced that he's endorsing Hillary Clinton for President...and will be donating do her campaign.

- In other words, your Grande Half-Caf Pumpkin Spice Latte is now gonna cost you about ten bucks. 

*****

Tiger Woods announced that he expects to return to full-time golf in early November. 

- I guess he's tired of just puttering around the house.

*****

Apple unveiled the new iPhone 7 that comes with TWO high resolution cameras. 

- The phone is also known as the iAnthonyWeiner. 

*****

A Rasmussen poll shows that only 28% of Americans believe the U.S. is headed in the right direction. 

- Apparently 28% of Americans don't have TV's or internet access. 

*****

A 43 year old Oklahoma woman is facing prison after legally marrying her 25 year old Daughter. 

- I know a lot of Mom's get swept up in planning their daughter's weddings... but they don't usually make themselves the Groom. 

- It was like a fairytale... "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed...And Someone Who Gave Birth to You". 

*****

Kanye West unveiled his new "Yeazy Season 4 " clothing line during a live-streaming fashion show. 

- And if you happened to watch the show, I'm gonna have to ask you to "Unlike" me on Facebook. 

*****

Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson appeared on MSNBC this morning was asked what he would do about Aleppo - the Syrian city at the heart of that countries civil war. He asked "What's Aleppo?"

- In his defense, his supporters think "A-leppo" is slang for someone with leprosy. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

1 Comment