Studies show more and more companies are banning alcohol from their office Christmas Parties this year to decrease the chances of "sexual harassment". 

- So the bottom line is: If you want to Xerox your butt on the copy machine you're going to have to do it sober.  

- Even Santa has banned booze at the North Pole after Blitzen pulled out his Jingle Bells in front of Vixen. 

*****

Two moms were arrested after getting into a violent brawl at an Indianapolis Chuck E. Cheese. 

- The judge set the bail at 10 million tickets. 

*****

33% of Americans consider “whatever” to be the most annoying word or phrase. “Fake news” takes second place with 23% and "No offense" comes in third with 20%. 

- Whatever... No offense, but I'm pretty sure this is fake news. 

*****

Arby's is selling "beefy" sweat suits covered in pictures of different cuts of meat. 

- They come in Small, Medium, and "Lady Gaga". 

*****

Scientists in Japan claim that Sex Robots will soon be so intelligent, they may cheat on their human owners. 

- Wow. If you can't count on your plastic sex doll to be faithful to you, who can you trust??? 

- If you want something plastic that will cheat on you, why not just date Pam Anderson? 

*****

A sex doll expo is Malasia was called off after a group of Muslim extremists made terrorist threats. 

- Apparently they weren't quite ready to be around 72 virgins. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick