For $500 bucks, Macys in NYC is allowing parents to "make appointments" for their kids to see Santa and avoid waiting in long lines. 

- Parents are so excited they're wetting their pants... just like their kids are going to do when they land on Santa's lap. 

*****

A growing number of people are paying as much as $500 for "Half-Christmas Trees" that can be placed against a wall to save space. 

- Say what you will, but it's a great way to Spruce up a small apartment for the Holidays. 

*****

More than 3.6 million Japanese families in Japan have pre-ordered their traditional Christmas dinner: The KFC "At Christmas You Eat Chicken" holiday feast. 

- Nothing say's "Merry Christmas" like a side of coleslaw. 

- The meal is so popular, it's even mentioned in the traditional Japanese Christmas song, "Grandma Got Runover By A Honda". 

*****

Marijuana aficionados rolled a 100 foot long joint at an expo in Massachusetts on Sunday. 

- It broke the record for "Most Hits" previously held by naked pictures of Kate Upton on Instagram. 

*****

Showtime announced that Stephen Colbert will produce an animated series on the network based on President Trump. (Talk about beating a dead horse). 

- Picture Homer Simpson with orange hair and a twitter account. D'oh! 

*****

The AVN's - the Porn industries version of the Oscars - announced that it's upcoming ceremony will be hosted by rapper Lil Wayne. 

- Their first choice was The Notorious B.I.G. -- but he's no longer with us. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick