Beyonce and Jay-Z announced that they’ve “severed all ties” with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for supporting Donald Trump.
- This is the most shocking break-up since the Tigers’ Mario Impemba and Rod Allen.
*****
Anthony Weiner will be released from prison next May - 3 months early - for being a “Model Prisoner”.
- Weiner says he’ll write a book about his time in prison… It’ll be a Pop-up Book.
*****
Frontier Airlines passengers were up in arms after a woman delayed a flight by bringing an “Emotional Support Squirrel” onboard.
- The passengers didn’t mind having the squirrel on board, it’s just that he ate all the bags of nuts.
*****
In other Squirrel news… Minnesota police were amazed when they found a man by the side of the road giving CPR to a Squirrel he’d accidentally hit with this car.
- The squirrel survived… and even HE thought the guy was nuts.
*****
A Gekko being treated at an animal hospital in Hawaii somehow used his little feet to call dozens of people on one of the vet’s cell phones.
- He was trying to get people to spend 15 minutes to save HUNDREDS on their car insurance.
*****
According to “laundry experts” on the internet - the easiest away to de-wrinkle clothes is to toss them in the dryer with a few ice cubes.
- Men who try this may experience some shrinkage.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick