Are you ready for this?? Doritos is developing "Lady-friendly chips" for women who don't enjoy the loud crunch of traditional Doritos. 

- Just when women find their voice... Doritos is trying to Silence their snacks!

- Here it comes... The #MeChew movement.

- Okay, but they better not mess with my Cheetos!

*****

Investors are on edge after the Stock Market fell a whopping 1175 points yesterday. 

- There hasn't been that big a drop since Michael Moore's boobs hit the floor when he took off his Manziere. 

*****

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took PC to new heights yesterday when he told a woman at a Town Hall Meeting to say "Peoplekind" instead of "Mankind" because it's "more inclusive". 

- He then left to give a speech in the Province of Person-a-toba. 

*****

The National Weather Service sent out a Tsunami Warning for the entire East Coast of the US this morning, but they forgot to mention that it was just a "practice test". 

- Sending out fake tsunami and missile warnings has become the "Ice Bucket Challenge" of 2018. 

*****

Officials in South Korea have called in almost 1000 military troops to take over for Olympic Security Staff members who have been sidelined with a virus causing intestinal distress. 

- It's so contagious, Athletes now have the chance to win Gold, Silver, Bronze and Porcelain. 

*****

The North Korean Olympic Hockey Team lost their first scrimage game against Sweden 3 to 1. 

- On the bright side, since they didn't lose an actual Medal Event, Kim Jong Un just maimed the players instead of killing them. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

DON'T FORGET! The 31st Annual Salvation Army Bed & Bread Radiothon is coming up on Friday, February 23rd! It'll be broadcast live from 6am to 10pm on WJR 760 AM! Jackie, Big Al and I will host the last four hours. Hope you'll tune in and Donate!