A new survey found that the United States has over 1 million same sex households.

- And 250 Million NO sex households.

*****

Tom Hanks - who stars in the new movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” - revealed that a test on Ancestry.com found that he’s actually related to Mr. Rogers.

- In a related story, Ancestry.com revealed that Jeffrey Epstein was related to Mr. McFeely.

*****

Jussie Smollett is suing the city of Chicago for “malicious prosecution” saying his reputation has taken a serious beating.

- Ya think?

- If he’d wanted his reputation to take a serious beating he would have arranged it himself.

*****

In the wake of his disastrous interview regarding his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, Queen Elizabeth has relieved her “favorite” son, Prince Andrew of his Royal Duties - and his $320,000 per year salary. Meanwhile Palace insiders say “No one” is talking to - or even texting - Prince Harry and Meghan after their “Woe is me” documentary.

- And you thought YOUR Thanksgiving Dinner was going to be awkward.

*****

DNA testing proves that Hunter Biden IS the father of a baby in Arkansas - despite his denial that he ever had sex with it’s mother - and now she wants child support.

- Gee… I hope he can come up with the money to pay her!!

- To his credit, Hunter has already set up college accounts for the baby at his favorite banks… First National of China and Ukraine Savings & Loan.

*****

Scientists say the human brain is 20% smaller than it was 20,000 years ago, but they say smaller doesn’t necessarily mean less powerful or slower.

- Proving once again that size DOESN’T matter.

*****

Gwyneth Paltrow - who famously called her divorce an “Uncoupling” - is offering Holiday Gifts on her website including a “Restraining Kit” for people whose idea of “Romance” includes Bondage, Dominance and Sadism - for just $1350.

- It’ll make a great Fishnet Stocking Stuffer!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick