Rosie O’Donnell has called off her engagement to Boston Police officer Elizabeth Rooney. It would have been Rosie’s 3rd marriage.

- I’m starting to think Rosie might be hard to get along with.

- She’s basically the Larry King of lesbians.

*****

Former Bill Clinton advisor Dick Morris says Hillary Clinton will run again because she’s spoken to God and believes it is her right to be President.

- God responded “I did not have a conversation… with that woman… Hillary Clinton”.

*****

Prince Charles spent $130 million dollars on a series of paintings that turned out to be Fakes made by an American forgery specialist.

- Who could have guessed “Dogs Playing Poker” by Rembrandt wasn’t real??

*****

A Female Painter in Great Britain has been making exact replicas of Queen Elizabeth by painting with her breasts.

- In this case, the paintings are real but the paint BRUSHES are fake.

*****

DNA tests have confirmed that a one-legged skeleton discovered under a dance floor in Russia IS that of Napoleon’s favorite General.

- Apparently he “Put His Right Leg In… He Put His Right Leg Out… He Put His Right Leg In… And He Fell Down”.

*****

Kim Kardashian says she’s gained 18 pounds in the last year.

- Put another way, that’s 9 pounds per cheek.

*****

A company in Finland has developed a new protein powder made partially out of AIR that they say will cut down on our need to eat beef and chicken.

- “Kentucky Fried Protein Powder”… Yum.

*****

Emotional Support Mini Horses are not only allowed on Airplanes these days… but now they’re also allowed on the Mass Transit System in San Francisco.

- It’s a little messy. Let’s just say some of the Mini-Horses are Leaving more than Their Hearts in San Francisco.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick