Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders are almost neck and neck in the latest polls.

- And those are two wrinkly old necks.

*****

According to a new survey, almost 50% of adults in the US would rather get Cash to help pay off their debts than a Gift during the Holidays.

- Cash is the PERFECT for the guy who has everything… including Student Loans and a Mortgage.

*****

Harvey Weinstein said he’s done more for women than any other man in Hollywood and - for that - he should get a Pat on the Back.

- As opposed to all his female victims who he gave a Pat on the backSIDE.

*****

The Hallmark Channel has changed course again and announced that it will continue airing a commercial that shows two women kissing despite protests from a conservative women’s group.

- “Hallmark. When You Care Enough to PROTEST the Very Best”.

*****

Lori Laughlin and her husband are said to be conducting “Mock Trials” to get experience before they head into court for their College Admissions Scandal Trial early next year.

- I’m thinking they should skip the “Mock Trials” and go straight to the “Mock Prison” part.

*****

Hunter Biden’s is about to become a father for the 5th time! His 2nd wife, who he married two weeks after breaking up with his deceased brothers widow who he had been dating for two years after taking up with her following a week-long crack binge and whom he cheated on with an Arkansas stripper who had his baby and is now suing him for child support… is Pregnant!!!

- Nothing like a feel-good romance to brighten the Holidays!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick