President Trump pardoned two turkeys at the White House yesterday… a tradition started by President George H.W. Bush.

- So Apparently it WASN’T OFFICIAL when Gerald Ford pardoned President Nixon.

*****

Joe Biden hinted that he WILL NOT offer Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren a position in his Cabinet so they can continue serving in the Senate.

- Democrat insiders say Bernie is mad… and Elizabeth is “On the Warpath”. (Sorry about that… It never gets old. At least to me. I just can’t seem to stop).

*****

Election observers in Wisconsin were given wristbands featuring the “Smiling Poop Emojis” to wear while watching the ballot recounts on Tuesday. Officials say it was to show proof they passed a COVID test.

- Sounds more like they passed a Colonoscopy.

*****

A new study found that people over 45 are at a greater risk of catching Sexually Transmitted Infections - because Society doesn’t talk about people having sex later in life.

- So if you’re looking for a topic to bring up with your Grandparents during your Zoom Thanksgiving……..

*****

The Mayor of Los Angeles has ordered Police to knock on people's doors to make sure they're adhering to Official Pandemic Crowd Restrictions.

- The program is called “You’d-Better-Not-Have-Too-Many-People… Home for the Holidays”.

*****

Meanwhile… Oregon Gov. Kate Brown is being slammed for telling people to TURN-IN neighbors who violate COVID rules this Thanksgiving - weeks after the State decriminalized ALL drugs.

- Apparently the lesson here is… Feel free to stuff your Turkey with Cocaine… but if you invite your Aunt and Uncle over for dinner - you’ll be arrested.

*****

There are reports that President Trump may get another Reality Show once he leaves office.

- Correction… that’s IF he leaves office.

- Meanwhile, after last weeks press conference, Rudy Giuliani has been signed-on to be the new Spokesperson for “Miss Clairol”.

*****

A new study found that 60% of Americans fear they won't see their loved ones this holiday season.

- And the other 40% are fearful they WILL.

*****

No matter how you spend your Holiday in this most unusual of years, I wish you Health and Happiness on Thanksgiving and during the whole Joyous Season. Personally, I have so much to be Thankful for… including all of you!

Have a great Holiday Weekend!

-Dick