During a speech at a Cricket Stadium in India, President Trump told an audience of tens of thousands “America loves India”.

- Not to be outdone, Elizabeth Warren tweeted, “INDIANS love India, too!” And How.

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle issued a feisty statement on their website saying the Queen cannot legally block them from calling themselves “Sussex Royals.”

- Meanwhile, the Queen is preparing a “Really nice place” for them to stay when they’re in England… the Tower of London.

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A study from the University of Copenhagen found that short men are more likely to develop dementia.

- On the bright side, this means Mike Bloomberg might not remember how badly he did in last weeks debate.

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A Russian man who was high on “zombie drugs” sawed off his own leg.

- The man said he’s sad but he’s resilient and will “continue to put one foot in front of the other.”

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Steven Spielberg says he’s “embarrassed and concerned” for his 23-year-old daughter Mikaela after she announced plans to become a porn star.

- If only he’d said she was a rower and paid $500,000 grand to send her to college this never would have happened.

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A Northeastern University study found “smart speakers” like Alexa were randomly set off to listen to users by television sets that were in the same room as many as 19 times per day.

- Aren’t you glad you don’t have a TV in the bathroom?

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick