It’s Primary Day here in Michigan! Speaking of heading to the polls, there’s still time to shop for a Birthday Gift for Stormy Daniels who turns 41 next week!

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In an effort to avoid the spread of the Coronavirus, producers of Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune announced they will tape shows WITHOUT a live studio audience “for the foreseeable future”.

- And instead of winning cash, contestants will now play for Toilet Paper!!

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The White House announced that President Trump is skipping this Thursday’s St. Patrick’s Day Luncheon because of Nancy Pelosi’s “divisive rhetoric”.

- Darn. I was so looking forward to watching Nancy tear up his Menu.

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A Chinese restaurant in California has started taking every customer's temperature in hopes of screening for the Coronavirus.

- So if you want Beef Lo Mein, prepare to have your temp taken by Sum Yung Guy.

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Hillary Clinton says she would love to see a FEMALE Vice President on the ticket in 2020.

- So would Bill.

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The stock market opened way up this morning after yesterdays historic 2000 point loss, but as of this writing is only up 200 points.

- The market’s bouncing around more than Charlie Sheen in a Mattress Factory.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick