Harvey Weinstein’s attorney says he’s “Doing well and not showing any symptoms” after testing positive for the Coronavirus.     

- Well, other than that pesky 23-year prison sentence… things are really looking up for Harvey!  

*****

Kanye West announced that the new eco-forward mansion he is building in Wyoming will feature a “Urine Garden”.     

- Let me get this straight… He picks the one time in history when we’re almost out of toilet paper to build a URINE GARDEN??

*****    

The makers of RealDoll silicone sex dolls announced they’ll give one LUCKY winner and the doll of his choice an all expense paid weekend at a luxury hotel.

- They’re gonna save money on the mini-bar and room service since sex dolls don’t eat much.

*****

After a week of having to clean her own house because of the Pandemic, Bette Midler - whose recently put her apartment up for sale for $50 MILLION - is taking heat for publicly praising “housekeepers around the globe” for the important work they do.

- Apparently Bette only experiences real life “From a Distance”.

*****

Despite the Stay-at-Home guidelines, Jane Fonda says she’s leaves her house each day to go to the gym and workout.

- Too bad there isn’t a way for her to stay in shape at home, like say a “Jane Fonda Workout Video”.

*****

Porn streaming service and “casual dating” site Adult FriendFinder is now live-streaming the nuptials  of couples whose wedding plans have been wrecked by the virus. 

- If you think the videos of the wedding are good, wait til you see the Honeymoon. 

*****

Hunter Biden is a Dad again! It’s his fifth - and the first for his wife Melissa who he married six days after meeting her, just weeks after breaking up with his brother’s widow (who he cheated on with an Arkansas stripper and ended up fathering a love child with) who he started dating while still married to his wife of 24 years with whom he had 3 children.

- We’ll I’d say Congratulations are in order!

- Dad, Mom, Ex-Wife, Ex-Sister-In-Law & Former-Girlfriend, Ex-Stripper and Baby are all said to be doing well!

*****

Here’s another of daughter Jackie’s Pandemic Songs of the Day… inspired by the Carpenters.

“Why do birds… suddenly disappear

Every time you are near?

Just like me, they have to be…

Far from you.”

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick