Six weeks into the “Stay Home” order and things are getting desperate. How desperate? My daughter Jackie sent me this pic this morning…

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Michigan State Police ticketed a driver going 180 mph on I-75 in Monroe County… That’s 110 mph over the speed limit.

- He could have avoided the ticket if he’s just told the Cops he was trying to follow the Governor’s order by maintaining "Proper Social Distancing” from the car behind him.

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Why did the Dog buy a SmartPhone?

- So he could take Self-Fleas.

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Experts predict the Pandemic will change Hotel Stays forever… including the end of the “Mini-Bar”.

- So… It’s safe to sleep on sheets that hundreds - maybe thousands - of people have used but it’s too dangerous to touch the handle of the miniature refrigerator??

- What if we use one of the miniature bottles of vodka to sanitize our hands before we drink all the rest of them??

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The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services has introduced a new “Condom Delivery Service” during the COVID-19 outbreak. Just email them and they’ll mail you protection.

- It’s good to know that the government - during these tough times - is there for us when the Rubber meets the Road.

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An Iranian man calling himself an Islamic prophetic medicine healer has prescribed drinking camel urine to prevent and cure COVID-19… adding that it must be “fresh and warm” to be effective.

- Feel free to add lemon or some sugar. Whatever you like. One hump or two.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick