According to research out of McMasters University, two helpings of full fat dairy products like whole milk and cheese may lower the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity.

- And if you follow that diet you’ll be the healthiest one in the Heart Attack Unit.

*****

It’s National Dinosaur Day!

- To celebrate, Larry King will record another TV informercial explaining how he keeps his Prostate so Happy and Healthy!

*****

People on Dating Apps are posting that they’ve tested negative for COVID-19 as a way to lure prospective dates.

- Nothing says romance like a swab shoved up your nose.

- We’ve gone from “What’s your Sign?” to “Have you got Antibodies?”

*****

Ever wonder why it’s called “COVID-19”?

- Because that’s how many pound you’ll put on by the time the Quarantine’s over.

*****

Apple is opening 25 more U.S. Stores this week, as the company continues to gradually ease out of Coronavirus lockdowns.

- Restaurants may still be closed, but at least you’ll be able to pick somebody up at the Genius Bar.

*****

The New York City Parks Department won’t let Porn star Ron Jeremy keep a tree that’s stood outside his childhood home his whole life… and will cut it down as planned.

- It’s just as well. At this point Ron’s tree is pretty wilted.

- Oh well… What goes Up must come Down!

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick