A California man broke into a bank and microwaved Hot Pockets in the break room.

- Boy… this seems like pretty tame stuff compared to most of the news lately.

*****

Another story riveting the nation…

Kris Jenner is said to be freaking out after Forbes Magazine revealed that her daughter, 21 year old Kylie ISN’T really a BILLIONAIRE and is only worth $990 Million.

- In Kris’s defense, who among us hasn’t worried that our kids won’t make enough to pay the bills??

*****

In less important news… The first ever Government and Privately funded Space Vehicle took off Saturday and docked successfully at the International Space Station Sunday, 19 hours after it took off.

- It would have taken longer, but traffic was really light because of the Coronavirus Lockdown.

*****

More and more Hair Salons are requiring patrons to sign waivers saying they know the potential risk of contracting the Virus when entering and that they are getting their hair cut “Of their own free will”.

- The last time I got my haircut “Against my own free will” was when I was 12 and my Mother MADE ME get it cut before my Boy Scout Badge Banquet.

*****

A survey of 1,300 adults named the Electric Light Orchestra song, “Mr. Blue Sky,” as the happiest song ever.

- Once again, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” gets robbed.

*****

Joy Behar said she was so tired of her gray roots she made her husband dye her hair in their home.

- JOY BEHAR HAS A HUSBAND??

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick