Brothel workers in Switzerland have volunteered to minimize the risk of transmitting the Coronavirus Virus by limiting customers to 2 POSITIONS so they can reopen during the Lockdown.

- Bless their hearts… Those girls just never stop giving!

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Burger King is handing out Giant Cardboard Crowns that promote social distancing by keeping customers six feet away from each other.

- Which is great news for people about to throw back a Double Whopper with Cheese, Large Fries and a Milkshake… and are worried about their health.

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According to new research, men with shorter ring fingers are 33% more likely to die if they contract COVID-19 and Men with longer ring fingers are less likely to suffer severe symptoms of COVID-19.

- So I guess it’s true what they say… “Big Hands, Big… Immunity”.

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The new trend in baby-naming has parents giving their bundles of joy the wife’s LAST name as a first or middle name.

- So if an angry female former talk show host and the Republican leader of the US Senate ever have a baby together (which I hope and pray never happens) we can look forward to welcoming “O’Donnell McConnell”.

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Hollywood Studios are now hiring Covid-19 Consultants who can help keep movie sets safe for filming.

- In a related story… Next years Oscars will be hosted by Clor-OX Leachman and Mr. Clean.

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According to a new book, Bill Clinton told Jeffrey Epstein that he had sex with Monica Lewinsky by default since “she was the only girl in the White House” during the 1995 government shutdown.

- Well you know what they say… “Any Port in a Storm”.

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Speaking of Clinton and Epstein… Two men who were hired to carry out a stranger's sexual fantasy of being tied up while clad in his underpants - went to the wrong address and broke into the wrong home - but politely left after realizing their mistake.

- There making a movie about it… “Bill & Jeff’s Excellent Adventure”.

- Those two are like the “Bobsey Twins” without pants.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick