With Christmas just two weeks away… Santa is scrambling to find some new reindeer.

- Why? Because Dancer and Vixen are busy in Court… suing the Cuomo Brothers for Sexual Harassment.

*****

The Chinese Government is trying to reverse falling birth rates by having hospitals refuse to give men vasectomies.

- You gotta love China. There basically cutting these guys off at the knees… or somewhere a little North of that.

*****

The Pope announced this week that “Hatred, Anger and Pride” are the worst sins… and that “Out-of-Marriage Sex” isn’t that big a deal.

- Wait til MRS. Pope hears about this.

*****

Rio De Janeiro canceled its New Year's Eve Party amidst Omicron fears. The carnival is normally a week of nonstop drinking and doing drugs.

- Luckily, Hunter Biden will fill the gap by hosting a party at his place!

*****

A new report claims Kamala Harris is afraid of Bluetooth.

- To show you how technical I am… I thought Bluetooth was the Puppet who hung out with White Fang, Black Tooth and Soupy Sales.

*****

Over thirty staff members and customers were forced to stay overnight in a Denmark IKEA after getting shut in by a snowstorm.

- That would be my luck. I’d get stuck overnight in the only furniture store in the world where the beds aren’t put together.

*****

According to new evidence, Ghislaine Maxwell was once photographed rubbing Jeffrey Epstein’s feet on his private jet.

- And now… it looks like that little piggy will be going to Prison.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick