Footage that seems to show Donald Trump wearing pants without a front zipper fly at a speech this weekend, has thrown his critics into a frenzy, drawing accusations that he put his pants on backwards.
- Hey… Unlike that Disney Duck, at least this Donald WEARS pants.
*****
Medical researchers in Maine, say new research proves that - like Salamanders - Humans have an 'untapped' ability to regenerate parts of their body.
- No one was happier to hear this news than John Wayne Bobbitt.
*****
After welcoming their new baby girl to the world on Friday, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced that they’ll be “taking time” off from their jobs.
- What Jobs??
*****
Royal insiders say that naming the baby “Lilibet” - Prince Phillips very private nickname for the Queen was “rude and disrespectful” to her Royal Highness after the Oprah debacle.
- The Palace was hoping they were gonna go with the QUEEN’s nickname for MEGHAN, but Harry and Meghan said “Jezebel” wasn’t even in their top five.
*****
A new poll found that almost 50% of Americans believe that Dinosaurs still exist.
- Well, duh. I just saw a documentary about ‘em called “Jurassic Park”.
*****
A new study finds that edgy drivers might actually be genetically predisposed to “Road Rage” because they over-react to “stress provoked by acceleration events” - a condition they call “Accelerousal”.
- I thought “Accelerousal” was what happened to you when you and your date started “making out” in the car.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick