IT’S SPRING!!!

Spring has Sprung… the Grass is Riz…

I Wonder where the Flowers Is…

Spring has Sprung… The Grass is Growing.

Shovel no more… Commence with the Mowing!!!

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In honor of Spring’s arrival… it’s FREE CONE DAY at Dairy Queen! Everybody gets a free small vanilla cone. Now I’m in a quandary. Do I get the free cone??? Or my usual Peanut Buster Parfait?? Or my second-favorite Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard?? In the interest of full disclosure for a long time I thought a “Snickerdoodle” was one of those fancy new dogs.

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The White House is NO LONGER considering the idea of sending out Gas Cards to help Americans offset rising costs.

- I guess they figure if we want cheap gas it would be easier to just eat at Taco Bell.

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A school district in Colorado announced that starting in 2026, it will to do away with Valedictorian awards at its high schools - because recognizing the high academic achievement is “outdated” it makes people who don’t do as well “feel bad”.

- Then I say I say we give the school district an “E” for Effort!

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Opponents of Vladimir Putin in Ukraine, Russia and Belarus are demanding that Switzerland expel Putin’s “longtime lover” Alina Kabaeva who is said to be in hiding in a luxury villa there saying, “It’s time to reunite Eva Braun with her Fuhrer”.

- Dontcha just love a good old fashioned War-Time Love Story?

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The Maury Povich Show is FINALLY ending after a three-decade run on television.

- Network execs gave Maury the bad news by saying, “In this envelope… we have the DNA results of the future host of this time slot… And… It’s NOT YOU”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick