According to new research, 47% of Americans don’t know the names of all four of their Grandparents.

- Are you kidding me?? It’s Grandpa, Grandma, Grandpa & Grandma. How hard is that??

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Veterinary Scientists believe that the muscles in dogs faces have evolved over the years to let them communicate their feelings more effectively to their owners - and that they’ve even developed “Puppy Dog Eyes” specifically to manipulate human emotions.

- Oh yeah? If dogs are so smart, how come they still chase their tails and drag their butts across the carpet??

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A Middle School teacher in Texas was fired for “torturning” her students by blasting a video of a high-pitched dog whistle for 40 minutes to punish her students for some unnamed infraction.

- On a bright note… At least she didn’t have sex with any of her students… As far as we know!!

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The Pentagon has released a previously classified document describing effects reportedly suffered by victims of “Alien Abductions” over the years including “Burns, paralysis, pain, rashes, amnesia, time-lapses, and sexual encounters”.

- They say the “Burn’s, paralysis, pain, rashes, amnesia and time-lapses” are eerily similar to the list of effects reportedly suffered by people who had “Sexual Encounters with Madonna”.

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Meghan Markle is attempting to trademark the word “Archetypes” - which first appeared in the English language 470 years ago - after deciding to use it for the title of her new podcast on Spotify.

- I think there are some words that have been around even longer than that, that the Queen might wanna Trademark to use when she talks about Meghan.

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President Biden has nominated Coast Guard Admiral Linda Fagan to be the first Woman in Charge of a branch of the US Military.

- Oh…. So NOW they know what a WOMAN is???

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RIP…. Bobby Rydell, the teen idol from the ’60s known for songs like “Wild One” & “Volare” and his role as Hugo Peabody in the 1963 movie “Bye Bye Birdie,” has died from complications of pneumonia at 79.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick