It’s May 4th… The day Star Wars Fans Everywhere celebrate as “May the Fourth be With You”!

- It’s extra special this year, because now we know that Hans Solo can have babies… and sometimes Princess Leia has a Light Saber!

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An NFL investigation has found no evidence that the Cleveland Browns deliberately lost games during previous season.

- Notice they don’t even BOTHER investigating the Lions.

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With the controversy over the leak of the Supreme Court draft opinion Amazon has announced it will reimburse employees up to $4,000 for the cost of traveling to get an abortion.

- Whatever happened to their famous “Prime Delivery”??

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According to researchers from the University of Florida, the inability to distinguish fake news from reality can lead to declines in physical and emotional health as well as financial well-being.

- Then again, that could be fake news.

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Police in Nebraska got a call about an intruder who had broken into a family’s home, but when they arrived, they discovered the “Suspect” was the families robotic “Roomba” vacuum moving around upstairs.

- The cops marked it down as a Robbery since the Roomba really cleaned ‘em out.

- Good luck dusting for prints.

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Last night, British TV aired a show about a man who - after his Penis fell off due to a blood infection - had a new one attached to his ARM for SIX YEARS - before Doctors could finally surgically attach it in the proper place.

- The bad news was he had a hard time putting on his shirt… the good news was he didn’t have to unzip his pants when he went to the mens room.

- Another plus? He didn’t have to bother going to the gym to “Pump Up” anymore!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick