A new large-scale study found that Optimists were more likely to make it to the age of 90 than their more negative counterparts.

- Case in point: My dad made it to 96. He always had a a smile on his face and loved to tell stories of the adventures he’d lived through - claiming they were all TRUE. For example… One time he told me that he’d survived a Flight from Cincinnati to Buffalo in a storm so bad that the plane FLEW UPSIDE DOWN FOR HALF AN HOUR. He said he just “thought positive thoughts” and knew everything would be fine. When I questioned his story, he nailed a toy airplane upside down to a piece of wood and gave it to me as a reminder that you can survive anything as long as you stay positive. Uh huh. I’ll you one thing I’m POSITIVE about… His story was B.S.!

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Scientists have discovered that Scallops are uncontrollably attracted to Disco Lights.

- How long before “The People for the Ethical Treatment of Scallops” are out on the street protesting??

- Interesting. But I hope Scallops don’t become attracted to Disco SONGS. I’m not sure I could stand listening to Donna Summer’s 7 minute Disco Version of MacArthur Park… one more time.

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The number of Monkeypox cases in the U.S. has risen to 30… but the CDC says it seems “contained”.

- Oh sure… they say that NOW. But how long until we start hearing about the “Davy Jones”, “Michael Nesmith”, “Micky Dolenz” and “Peter Tork” variants??

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There’s a new Kid’s book out called “I am Dolly Parton”.

- It’s designed to teach little ones the alphabet… but it only goes from A to Triple D.

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The soft-on-crime District Attorney of San Francisco has lost his job after getting voted out in a recall election.

- He says the election was “stolen”… Hmmmm…. Ya think maybe it was by one on those criminals he let out of jail??

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A new 10 year study out of South Wales found that men who have sex “frequently” reduce their risk of dying by 50% compared to men who only have sex once a month or less.

- Go ahead guys. I’ll wait while you go tell your wife.

- You’re welcome.

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I know we just mentioned him earlier in the week, but… today is officially “National Donald Duck Day”!!

- So relax and do what Donald does… Drop your Drawers and Shake Your Tail Feathers! (But no Twerking!!!)

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A 21 year old North Carolina native and recent graduate of NC State was the winner of last weekends “Cooper’s Hill Cheese Roll” in England… taking home the coveted “Wheel of Cheese”.

- Well… Gouda for her!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick