President Biden and Chinese President Xi are meeting in San Francisco today. The White House says the goal of the meeting is to ease tensions and normalize communications with the Communist Super Power.

- That… and Joe’s hoping to get Xi to give him the “Ancient Chinese Secret” to getting his laundry so clean!

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Barbara Streisand says she will leave the United States if Donald Trump is elected President in 2024.

- In related news…. She offered to perform LIVE at the Innauguration if Joe and Kamala win. Which is great! I haven’t heard “Send in the Clowns” in FOREVER!

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According to a new survey, Cannabis users say the drug improves their sleep better than supplements like Melatonin.

- But according to former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee… nothing will get you the good nights sleep you need like RELAXIUM!!!!

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A New York Post article claims that there’s an estimated $32 BILLION worth of treasure lying at the bottom of the sea inside of Sunken Ships.

- As soon as the news broke… two things happended instantly: 1) Congress tried to TAX the Money. And 2) Urkranian President Zelensky tried to BORROW it.

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A new poll finds that the British are among the world’s biggest binge drinkers… with British Men AND Women binge drinking more than their Irish counterparts.

- When the Irish heard the news, they were so depressed, they drank themselves into a stupor, sang a couple verses of “Danny Boy” and passed out.

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A CVS location in Washington DC was forced to wipe its shelves clean of toilet paper and replace them instead with framed photos of the products amid rising thefts in the country’s capital.

- It’s working out okay so far… but Note to Consumers: Be careful!!! The edges of those picture frames aren’t nearly as soft as the Charmin you’re used to!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick