President Biden surprised his staff and angered the Chinese Government during a fundraising speech this week when he referred to Chinese President Xi Jinping as a “dictator.”

- Biden actually MEANT to say, “God Save the Dictator, man!”

*****

Wednesday, the US Agriculture Department approved the sale of Chicken grown in labs. It’s different from Plant-based meat because it’s actually made from animal cells that are grown in giant metal tanks.

- Great. Now another question we can’t answer: “Why did the Lab-Grown Chicken Cross the Road?”

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Alec Baldwin’s wife Hilaria, who - shares 7 kids with him - says that despite being 26 years Alec’s junior, “Sometimes I’m his Mommy, too”.

- Well based on his public behavior through the years… She might wanna think about taking away his Toys, Juice Box & Pokemon Cards for a while.

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Hilaria - famous for both her large family and her fake Spanish accent - says she “Loves giving birth” and likened the experience to “Going down a water slide that’s really scary! You get to the bottom and you’re like… I want to do that again!”

- I realize that I’m not a woman and I’ve never given birth…but isn’t it actually the BABY that’s the one “Going down the water slide”???

- Either way, remind me NOT to go to Cedar Point with Hilaria any time soon.

*****

A survey of 2,000 U.S. adults found that 54% of people are psyched for summer… which began yesterday… feeling “very” or “extremely” excited about hitting the beach or pool.

- The other 46% have already tried on their bathing suits in front of a mirror.

*****

A local TV Meteorologist in Iowa has resigned, citing “PTSD” brought on by the stress from threatening emails he says he received from viewers who were unhappy with his reports on “Climate Change”.

- I miss Sonny Eliot! He was Strong! He was Funny! He was “STRUNNY!!”

*****

Researchers documenting animal life on a stretch of Texas’ Gulf Coast shared video documenting an unusual discovery: a metal safe washed up on the beach.

- The safe was immediately given official papers, a free cell phone and a bus ticket to NYC.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick