A British Man has been crowned “World Toe Wrestling Champion” after finally beating a 17-time winner.

- He celebrated the victory by going to the market, having some roast beef, and eventually going wee, wee, wee, wee all the way home.

*****

According to a new study, eating breakfast before 8:00 a.m. may prevent Type 2 diabetes.

- Luckily, IHOP opens at 7am... So I can get in my "Rooty Tootie Fresh & Fruity Pancake" PREVENATIVE MEDICINE just in time!!!

*****

According to a new report, Harry and Meghan asked if they could hitch a ride back to the States on Air Force One with the Bidedns after Queen Elizabeth's funeral but were immediately turned down. Apparently the White House thought it might ruffle relations with King Charles.

- Harry and Meghan ended up having to fly commercial which cost more than $10,000 - and that's before you factor in the cost of checking all Harry's Emotional Baggage

*****

A new survey finds that two in five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition... And 85 percent don’t think you need to get married to have a fulfilling and committed relationship.

- Where was this kind of thinking when I was paying for my six lovely daughters six lovely weddings?? (Actually it was SEVEN lovely weddings... but who's counting?!?)

*****

According to a new study, Parents with multiple kids are more likely to neglect their own Physical Fitness.

- Aha! So THAT explains my belly!

*****

Rapper 50 Cent warned that Los Angeles is “finished” after the city reinstated a controversial no-bail policy.

- And you know when 50 Cent puts in his 2 Cents, you end up about 48 Cents short of a dollar.

*****

A snail racing event in England has been awarded a Guinness World Record as the “Longest Running Snail-Racing World Championship in History”.

- If you’re interested in attending, there’s still time! It’s been a year and a half and the contestants haven’t even made it to the starting blocks yet.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick