The White House and Secret Service are scrambling to figure out how a baggie filled with “white powder” - that tested positive for Cocaine - was found near the library of the White House Sunday night.
- Talk about a whodunit!
- It’s like a real life game of “Clue”… except instead of “Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Candlestick”, it might have been “Hunter in the Library with the Crack Pipe”.
*****
Speaking of the First Son… New photos have emerged that Hunter took on August 2nd, 2018 of his car’s dashboard that show him driving 172 MPH, smoking crack while driving to Las Vegas to meet up with some Hookers.
- But as the administration was quick to point out, the important thing is… Hunter was driving an ELECTRIC CAR!!
*****
Power-eater Joey Chestnut gobbled his way to another win at Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest yesterday downing 62 franks and buns in 10 minutes to take his 8th straight “Mustard Belt” and 16th win since 2005.
- I had a couple hot dogs over the weekend. Question: Is there an easy way to get mustard out of the belly part of a Red, White & Blue shirt?? Especially the White part??
*****
Over the weekend, a massive brawl broke out at a Spirit Airlines ticket counter in Orlando.
- These days, flying Spirit is a lot scarier that riding the “Tower of Terror” and “Demon Drop” put together.
*****
Former NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio and his Lesbian wife of 30 years have decided to separate in order to “date other people” - but will not divorce and continue to live in the same house.
- Makes sense they're not getting divorced… they still have much in common… They both like girls!
*****
Actors and Actresses in Hollywood are preparing to join Writers in what would amount to a massive "Double Strike" that would bring nearly all US Movie and TV productions to a halt.
- So prepare yourself: The only things left are gonna be dozens of “Judge” shows and the "The Real Housewives of… FILL IN THE BLANK".
*****
Speaking of movies… Saw The “Sound of Freedom” yesterday which is about the US and Worldwide problem of Child Sex Trafficking. I recommend you see it!
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick