Last week, a microscopic Louis Vuitton-inspired handbag “Smaller than a grain of salt” sold for a whopping $63,730. The one-of-a-kind design is neon green and is so tiny it can actually fit though the eye of a needle.

- Well good luck finding a pair of shoes to match!!

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Despite being one of the most closely guarded and monitored buildings in the world, White House officials say “We may never know” who brought the baggie of Cocaine into the White House where it was discovered by the Secret Service Sunday night.

- So we have video of the Hindenburg, the Atomic Bomb explosion , JFK’s assassination, etc… but we’re supposed to believe they don’t know where somebody dropped a bag of Coke in this “100% transparent” full-of-cameras White House??

- First they said it was IN the Library, then NEAR the Library, then in the WEST Wing, then in the EAST Wing…

- This reminds me of the last time I was on a White House tour when two women in line in front of me turned and said, “Are you Dick Purtan?”. I admitted that I was. I didn’t leave anything behind that day… but If I had… it wouldn’t have been a bag of Cocaine. It probably would have been a bag of Raisinettes I keep in my back pocket in case I want a snack.

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A New Jersey judge has been slapped with a formal complaint after allegedly posting videos of himself on TikTok lipsynching to "inappropriate" rap songs about violence and sex both in his courtroom and while partially naked in bed. The questionable lines included, “All my life, I’ve been waiting for somebody to whoop my a**”.

- Well, Judge… Looks like the wait is over!!!

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Louisianna Senator John Kennedy says the Washington D.C. establishment is “working harder than an UGLY STRIPPER” to cover up for Hunter Biden.

- Well, then. At least Hunter’s working with someone he already knows…

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Sharks have been spotted swimming in shallow waters at several Florida beaches, sending frantic swimmers fleeing to safety.

- In a related story, Beach goers rushed to help a Humpback Whale that washed up on the Jersey Shore this weekend… but it turns out it was just Chris Christie who got a cramp from swimming too soon after downing 3 Corn Dogs and a half dozen Funnel Cakes.

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A Seal was returned to the ocean after wandering through a New Zealand city and visiting the parking lot of a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.

- So even Seals have a “Bucket List”.

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New worldwide data found that women in the USA have the fourth largest breasts in the world. They say it’s accurate because they used the Medical Gold Standard: A Double Blind Study.

- Actually, in this case it was a “Double D” Blind Study.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick