A 114-year-old woman in Texas has become the oldest living American! Houston resident Elizabeth Francis is now the country’s oldest documented living person at 114 years, 7 months and 2 days old as of yesterday! Then again, nobody’s actually heard from her yet this morning…

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Speaking of Birthdays…

An Oklahoma woman is about to turn 100 years old, but it’s really only her 25th birthday. Mary Forsythe was born on Feb. 29, 1924, which was leap day. Since leap years only come around every four years, she will technically celebrate her 25th birthday tomorrow.

- And might I say… for an almost 25 year old, she doesn’t look a day over 99! Congrats Mary!

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A new report says that Gisele Bündchen’s boyfriend, Joaquim Valente, is spending most nights at her Miami home. He’s a jiu-jitsu instructor, so he’s helping Giselle learn how to defend herself.

- And as an ex-wife of an NFL Quarterback… Giselle is teaching HIM how to complete his passes and score.

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Canada has just donated $4 million bucks toward an effort to clear landmines in Ukraine… But only if they do it in a Gender-Inclusive manner. That’s right… part of that money will “Establish a gender and diversity working group to promote gender-transformative mine action in Ukraine."

- Well I don’t know about you… but when I want a land mine diffused in my backyard… I want to make sure it’s diffused by someone from a truly DIVERSE background! Preferably A female Latino Pansexual. And I’d also really appreciate it if they were up to date on all their Covid Boosters. And double masked if at all possible. 🙄

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According to a new survey in the UK, 37% of people would let a bird poop on them because they think it’s Good Luck.

- If a bird pooping on you is “Good Luck”… Then every time I go to the car wash, my car turns into a Four-Leaf Clover with Rabbit-Foot Seats.

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A writer for the NY Times says he was “cast out and chastised” for naming Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich as his favorite sandwich during an orientation session when he was hired at the paper. Why? Well… the Human Resources rep told him, “We don't do that here. They hate gay people”.

- To stick with the “Sandwich” theme here… What a bunch of Bologna.

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RIP… McCanna Anthony “Mac” Sinise… musician and son of actor Gary Sinese has died after a 5 1/2 year battle with an extremely rare form of Spine Cancer. He was 33.

So tragic… Gary has done so much for America’s sons and daughters through his tireless support of U.S. Troops and Veteran’s to lose a child of his own… Prayers to him, his son Mac, and the entire Sinise family.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick