As of this writing, the Jury in Trump’s Hush Money/Campaign Finance/Election Interference/Whatever-This-Case-Is-Specifically-About Trial is still Deliberating… It’s complicated and confusing. Even the commentators seemed a bit at a loss as to exactly what the main charges are. I don’t know whether to “Call Sam” or Geoffrey Feiger to help explain this to me!
*****
A former Fast Food CEO is predicting that more fast-food restaurants will close nationwide over higher prices. How high are they? McDonald's Big Mac cost $3.99 in 2019… and now that price has doubled to $8.29.
- What are they putting in the “Special Sauce”… Liquid Gold?
- It’s so bad last week the Hamburgler called 911 to say he’d been robbed at the Drive-thru.
*****
Lunden Roberts, the ex-stripper and mother of Hunter Biden's estranged daughter, Navy is writing a Tell-All book that’s set to hit bookstores in late August.
- It will the first book in history to be both a Pop-Up and available for purchase only in CASH… and only in SINGLES.
*****
South Korean officials are warning residents to stay indoors after North Korea dropped more than 150 balloons carrying Trash and Poop onto their South Korean Neighbor.
- Political experts say this is a new low… even for Kim Jong Ewwww.
*****
A new survey shows that 63% of Voters say “Reducing Crime” is a Top Priority for them when it comes to who they’ll vote for this November.
- And a full 100% say they just want to make sure their VOTE doesn’t get STOLEN.
*****
A man who allegedly ran naked down the aisle of a plane in the middle of a flight between two cities in Australia has been arrested.
- It’s unknown if his Tray Table was “In it’s full and upright position” at the time of the incident.
*****
A Georgia alligator was “arrested” and loaded into a police cruiser after it showed up in a resident’s driveway.
- Not surprisingly, the alligator tested positive for Croc Cocaine.
*****
Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg says Turbulence during Air Travel is up 15%... and it's do to... “Climate Change”.
- I'm shocked! I thought Turbulence was caused by "Misogyny and Colonialism" while "Climate Change" was directly responsible for my Lost Luggage.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!
-Dick