Defense Rests In Hunter Biden Gun Trial… Closing Arguments This Afternoon… Mostly Likely Goes to Jury Today…. Stay Tuned…

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A new report says Chicago’s mayor Brandon Johnson has spent $30,000 in campaign finance funds on personal grooming in the last year alone.

- For $30,000 a year… he should like Halle Barry.

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Dick Van Dyke has won a historic Daytime Emmy at age 98. The actor was honored Friday night as guest performer in a daytime drama series for his part as amnesiac, Timothy Robicheaux on NBC’s the “Days of Our Lives,” making him the oldest Daytime Emmy winner ever.

- Oh, Rob!!!!!!!!!

- My favorite part of this story is the character that he played! “Amnesiac Timothy Roicheaux”. It doesn’t get any more “Soap Opera” than that. Unless of course… he had an EVIL TWIN…

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Crews of firefighters and animal rescue teams came together in England to rescue two cows that wandered into a river and couldn't figure out how to get back out of the water.

- Well you know what they say about Cows… “You can lead them to water, but you can’t make them Think”

- EMS workers said the Cows swallowed a lot of water during the rescue, adding, “They were giving Whole Milk before they went in… now, it’s diluted to like 2%”

- Udderly amazing. . Very Mooooving Story. (I’ll stop now)

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Music Producer Nick Cannon, who has fathered 12 children with 6 different women, has taken out a $10 MILLION insurance policy on his testicles.

- Nick said he was going to go with State Farm but changed his mind because he knew his manhood would be in “Good hands with Allstate”.

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Police in New York are trying to find the owner Boa Constrictor found slithering around the halls of an Upper West Side apartment building. Cops describe the snake as “5 feet long, very aggressive and warn people to use caution when approaching it”.

- Oh… and they added that it answers to the name, “Robert De Niro”.

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- No official word on whether J Lo and Ben Affleck are headed for Divorce Court… but they have put their 43,000 square-foot house on the market. “Bennifer” bought the house a year ago for $61 MILLION…. which features 17 bedrooms and 30 bathrooms.

- How can they be getting divorced? Ben hasn’t even had time to leave the toilet seat up in all 30 of those bathrooms yet!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick