Disney has announced that come this summer, Starbucks will open coffee shops in their themeparks in Florida and California.
- The move came after repeated requests from Sleeping Beauty.
- To celebrate the caffination of the parks, Disney will add an eighth dwarf… “Shaky”.
- If you thought “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” was something, wait ‘til you try it after a double espresso.
A new survey finds that 70 percent of Americans believe that Satan exists.
- The other 30 percent said, “Hell no!”
- The 70% claim they know he exists because he signs their paycheck every week.
U.S. officials say they doubt that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un will do anything differently than his recently deceased father, Kim Jong Il.
- Except he probably won’t have any kids like his dad did since he can’t keep his missile up for more than 30 seconds at a time.
- They added that like his father, Kim Jong Un is a real dog lover… especially when it’s grilled and served with a side of Zip sauce!
A Chinese company has named a new line of sunglasses afer Helen Keller. They say they know she was blind, but they are focusing on her philanthropic spirit.
- Can “Amelia Earhart Airlines” be far behind?
Twitter exploded with death threats after George Zimmerman was released from a Florida jail on bail and went into hiding.
- He’s the 2nd most hated person in Florida… right after the old guy in the Cadillac who drives twenty miles an hour with his left turn signal on.
On this day in 1888, the first Kodak camera was introduced.
- Thus marking the first time a group of people standing together said “Cheese!” all at the same time.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here on Tuesday!
-Dick
Three more Secret Service agents have been forced to retire in the wake of the Colombian Hooker Scandal.
- On a happy note, they threw themselves a wild retirement party… complete with Hookers!
- Well at least they’ve got some cool sunglasses to wear on the beach in retirement!
The 24-year-old Colombian prostitute who claims that one Secret Service agent paid her only $30 for an $800 “service”, has gone underground after pictures of her surfaced on the web.
- Of couse “underground” means she’s preparing for her new reality show, “Colombia’s Next Top Hooker”.
- The prostitute added that she’d never slept with anyone before who spent the whole time talking into his sleeve.
- This gives a whole new meaning to the old joke “How do you make a Hormone?” “Don’t pay her”.
Today marks the 7th anniversary of the day the very first YouTube video was uploaded.
- Today also marks “The Worst Day In History” for anyone NOT a member of the “Justin Bieber Fan Club”.
- Who can forget the first YouTube video? It was that one with the cat and the laughing baby.
- If it wasn’t for YouTube we’d have no idea how many drunk teenage boys accidentally light their butts on fire.
71-year-old Neil Diamond married his 42 year old manager over the weekend. It’s his 3rd marriage and her 1st.
- It was really spur of the moment… Neil just woke up and said he wanted to get married “TODAY!”
- Barbra Streisand was invited but didn’t make it to the wedding, causing Neil to Tweet “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore.”
Some Canadians were watching a Saturday morning news show in Hamilton, Ontario when it was breifly replaced by gay porn.
- Apparently Bob and Doug McKenzie were a lot closer than we thought.
- Some viewers were so traumatized they were taken to the hospital. I’ll let you know how they’re doing when they get seen by a Canadian doctor next year.
- The name of the film was, “Behind The Green Door, Eh?”
A study says that the four biggest predictors of divorce are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
- Coming in at number five was: Getting caught sleeping with a Colombian hooker.
On this day in 1982, McDonald’s opened it’s first restaurant in Beijing, China.
- Lines were long. People kept coming back since they were hungry an hour later!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Today I sit down with Detroit radio verteran, former program director, teacher and “observer” Dick Kernan, to talk about the immense changes that have affected so many people in the the broadcast industry… including the listeners. Kernan was the first program director of WRIF (Baby!) in the late 60’s and early ‘70’s. He’s beeen involved in the radio and media business ever since - including many years as VP of the “Specs Howard School of Media Arts”. From former Detroit jock Howard Stern all the way to the legendary Dick Clark, we share our thoughts on Radio and the media: where it was, where it is, and where it’s headed. Plus… I offer up a personal experience with both Howard and Dick Clark.
Purtan Podcast #39 (32:13)
Have a great weekend!
-Dick
Yesterday, the world lost Dick Clark who died of a heart attack at the age of 82. Famous for both “American Bandstand” and his annual New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Specials, he was a fixture in broadcasting from the ‘50’s to the day he died - both on-the-air and in his later years behind the scenes thru “Dick Clark Productions”.
On a personal note, the “Eternal Teenager” and I both attended Syracuse University (not at the same time, mind you!) but I did spend some time with him over the years. He personally asked me to be one of just 10 judges for a prime time ABC television music special. He was also an in-studio guest on my radio show - the very same day we had Tony Randall at the station. Talk about an “Odd Couple”!
Because of Dick’s style, personality, and presentation, plus the fact that he had strict rules for the kids on the show (he even made the boys wear ties), I think he made parents who happened to watch “American Bandstand” feel more secure and confident about the new Rock ‘n Roll music that their kids were embracing.
So now Ryan Seacrest, his “heir apparent”, will officially take over for Dick… and I wish him well. But somehow, I just don’t think New Year’s Eve will ever be quite the same.
BTW… I hope they play “Amazing Grace” at Dick’s funeral. Why? “Because it’s got a good beat and it’s easy to dance to.”
RIP Dick.
Hold onto your King Dongs! The Teamsters are threatening to go on strike and drive Hostess bakeries out of business if they try to change their union contracts.
- Twinkie’s may be a goner… but there’s no way the Secret Service is gonna let them do away with the Ho-Ho’s!
- Just another sign the world is going to “Pot”… so the people who make Doritos better not go on strike!
Stores across the country are doing away with self-checkout lanes. They were supposed to make check-out quicker for customers, but most of them ended up confused.
- And just when I’d finally figured out how to scan bananas!
- Stores knew they were in trouble when the clerks in charge of the lanes were asked so many questions by customers they became known as “First Responders”.
- This could prove embarrassing for people who just pop in to pick up a gallon of milk, a box of Depends, and a tube of Preparation H!
Cosmetic surgery is on the rise… but the most popular procedure may surprise you. Plastic surgeons say “Chin-plants” are surpassing breast-implants as the number one procedure.
- So apparently every man in America that walks into a bar will immediately star at a woman’s chin.
- Women who don’t need the chin implant can proudly say, “It’s real… and it’s SPECTACULAR!”
Former VEEP candidate John Edwards, who took heat for paying $400 per haircut during his failed campaign, now pays just $12.95 at Supercuts in Raleigh, North Carolina.
- He may be paying even less than that very soon… Haircuts in Federal Prison are free!!!
- On a bright note, being around all those gay sylists at the expensive salon may have prepared him for prison life!
On this day in 1982, astronaut Sally Ride was chosen by NASA to become the first woman ever to travel into space.
- They realized if they every wanted to get to Mars, they’d need someone who would actually stop and ask for directions.
BTW… Today is “National Hang Out Day”! It’s not what you think… it’s to save dollars and energy by drying your clothes on a clothesline.
- In the Amish Community today is known as Thursday.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!
-Dick