A Dutch company wants to do a reality show that would send poeple to a colony on Mars for the rest of their lives.
- The original idea was to send the Kardashians to Mars, but they’d already signed a deal to move to Uranus.
A new poll has found that one-third of Facebook users are spending less time on it than they did six months ago because it’s come “boring”, irrelevant or useless.
- Apparently they’ve been keeping up with my posts.
- Boring, irrelevant & useless… but enough about Kwame Kilpatrick!
On this day in 1850 Levi Strauss made his first pair of blue jeans.
- If he hadn’t invented blue jeans, Neil Diamond would have had to record a song called “Forever in Pants”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
Kwame’s at it again… According to e-mails, he’s complained to state prison officials about performing 16 hours a month of community service. He claims that between giving paid speeches and driving his kids to extracurricular activities, he just doesn’t have the time. BTW… he’s doing his “service” at a Texas Food Bank.
- Kwame’s used to driving himself to his own “extracurricular activities”.
- Kwame doesn’t like working at the food bank, but said the meals are awesome!
Queen Elizabeth is celebrating the final day of her Diamond Jubilee, marking 60 years on the throne, despite the fact that her husband, Prince Phillip, is in the hospital with a bladder infection.
- He is said to be doing well, despite a lot of pain in his Royal Scepter.
Her Majesty ended the four-day festivites by making her way through London in a horse drawn carriage along with Camilla.
- They put special “Jubilee” Blinders on Camilla so she didn’t get spooked by the crowd.
- As a special anniversary gift to his grandmother, Prince Harry DIDN’T wear his Nazi uniform.
Researchers have determined that there really is an “old person smell”.
- And it’s now being bottled and sold under the name, “Hugh Hefner Cologne”.
- NOTE: The findings of this study were predicted by Nostril-damus hundreds of years ago.
Scientists in Israel have developed marijuana with all of the medicinal properties but none of the substance that gets you stoned.
- The new highless weed has been dubbed “Cheech Without The Bong”.
- You knew somebody was going to come up with a way to take the fun out of Glaucoma.
Criticism is flying after the Wall Street Journal reported that Facebook might give access to children under the age of 13.
- All of the 9-year-olds already on Facebook who list their age as 17, immediately “unfriended” the critics.
- Instead of having their own family, Mark Zuckerberg and his wife have decided to “virtually adopt” everyone else’s kids.
On this day in 1805 the first recorded tornado touched down in “Tornado Alley” in Southern Illinois.
- Before that, the area was known as “Nothing Much Ever Happens Around Here Alley”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
The Grand Prix roared back into Detroit over the weekend for the first time since 2008, but not without a major glitch. During the middle of the race, chunks of asphalt and rubber began flying up onto the cars leaving behind major potholes for the drivers to avoid. The race was shut down for two hours, then resumed after crews fixed the problems.
- How come they can fix every pothole on the course in two hours and it takes them two years to get anything done on the freeway you take to work everyday?
- Only in Detroit would you have construction delays during an internationally televised race car event.
John Edwards’ jurors told the “Today” show that they believe he’s guilty of at least some of the charges, but he was just smart enough to hide the evidence.
- In his hair.
Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her Diamond Jubilee Sunday. Her Royal Highness smiled and waved continuously despite a day-long wicked rain storm - that blanketed London in a fog. The day marked her 60th year on the throne.
- The only person who came even close to sitting that long on the throne was Elvis.
Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiance Crystal Harris tweeted that she and Hef are back together!
- Sounds like somebody is a little low on cash.
- Hugh was surprised… he forgot that they’d ever broken up.
- When the news broke, sales of Viagra stock immediately shot up.
Four-time Olympic medalist Shawn Johnson announced her retirement from gymnastics.
- Gee… I wonder what’s got her all bent out of shape?
The star of “Hogan’s Hero’s” and “Family Feud” died over the weekend at the age of 79 after a long battle with esophogeal cancer. The witty Brit reportedly kissed more than 20,000 women while hosting “Family Feud”.
- One hundred people were asked how they felt about his passing and the number one answer? “Survey says… Sad”.
NOTE: Ironically, less than two weeks ago, my Podcast featured former “Purtan’s Person” Tom Delisle, who worked with Richard for years. Tom wrote more than 20 monologues that Dawson used during his frequent fill-in appearances for Johnny Carson. The Podcast is filled with stories - not just about Johnny Carson - but about what Richard Dawson was like as both an employer and a good friend of Tom’s. If you haven’t heard it, Just click on Podcast #44 on the DickPurtan.com homepage.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Today I take a fascinating trip down Musical Memory Lane with Jack Ryan, author of the book “Recollections: The Detroit Years: Motown Memories From The People Who Made Them”. Find out who REALLY discovered the Jackson 5 (no… it actually wasn’t Diana Ross) to some pretty surprising facts about Marvin Gaye. Turns out what was “Goin’ On” was that he wasn’t paying taxes, kidnapped his own daughter and fled the country. From how Barry Gordy made every decision to an alleged epileptic seizure during a concert that the audience thought was just some crazy dancing… it’s all here. Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday!
-Dick
After 20 seasons with the Red Wings, Nick Lidstrom announced his retirement from the NHL this morning. Lidstrom is considered by many to be one of the three greatest Red Wings of all time, along with Gordie Howe and Steve Yzerman.
Thanks to Nick for an incredible run!!!
President Obama called Mitt Romney on Wednesday to congratulate him on winning the necessary delegates to secure the Republican presidential nomination. The Prez is said to have wished Romney and his family good luck.
- Especially his dog.
- After the call, Romney said “Damn! I knew we should have gotten Caller ID”.
- At first Mitt thought it was a telemarketer, but it turns out it was a tele-prompter-er.
Today is World No Tobacco Day, when smokers are urged to try giving up cigarettes for just one day, to see how it feels.
- ATTENTION MEN: If you know any female smokers who are also experiencing PMS… RUN!!!
- Smokers told organizers to “butt out”.
Facebook’s stock has dropped so much in a week that Mark Zuckerberg fell off the list of the 40 richest people in the world.
- Obviously being the 41st richest person is the world is no big deal.
- Zuckerberg has decided to take some time off… He and his new wife are staying at a B&B in Farmville.