A Seattle company has created a beer designed for dogs called Bowser Beer.
- Don’t give it to your Pitt Bull… I hear they’re mean drunks.
- There’s already a soda pop for dogs: Bark’s Root Beer.
- So now your Golden Retreiver can drink your neighbors Rotweiller pretty.
A woman in Kentucky got stuck to a toilet seat in Wal-Mart that was covered in crazy glue.
- Apparently she’s unfamiliar with the concept of “hovering”.
- Remember the old expression… “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie… Wipe the Seatie!”
- If it wasn’t for the paramedics, she would have ended up on the throne longer than Queen Elizabeth.
On this day in 2006, Pluto’s newly discovered moons were officially named Nix & Hydra.
- They were going to name them Kim & Khloe Kardashian but the moons weren’t that big.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow with a brand-spankin’ new Podcast!
-Dick
It’s the First Day of Summer!!! At 7:09pm EST tonight, we officially leave Spring behind and move into my favorite season! So gentlemen… get out your black socks and sandals!
Hey… good news. Finally the Democrats and Republicans have come to an agreement in Congress! Senators Harry Reid and John McCain have agreed to set up a federal commission to regulate… BOXING!
- They can’t agree on the money crisis, unemployment or immigration… but, thankfully, they’ve got the big issue covered.
- Don King For President!
- Four More Rounds! Four More Rounds!
Adidas has cancelled plans for a shoe with a shackle-like ankle cuff.
- That’s too bad… it would have been the perfect thing for Kwame to wear when he’s allowed out in “the yard”.
England’s Fiona Apple released her first album in seven years, and it’s called “The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver Of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do.”
- It’s really got that simple, poetic “Sound of Music” kind of feel doesn’t it?
- This is the first product ever introduced by “Apple” that’s gonna bomb.
The Rolling Stones are denying reports that they plan to call it “quits” next year.
- Keith Richards says he doesn’t remember telling anyone that. Then again, he can’t remember the 1960’s… 70’s… 80’s…
- They can’t stop or they’ll start gathering moss!
- Mick Jaggar says the band will keep going despite the fact that these days no one in the group can get any “Satisfaction” without the help of Viagra.
Bobby Brown has married his longtime manager Alicia Etheredge.
- Alicia told the press she knows about Bobby’s troubled past but she’s sure she can change him!!!
Lindsay Lohan was out partying the night after she was taken to the hospital for exhaustion.
- I don’t know about you, but I’m the one who’s exhausted hearing about Lindsay Lohan!
On this day in 1893 Lizzie Borden was found not-guilty of the ax murders of her father and step-mother.
- Although the jury did admit they thought she was a bit of a whack job.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
“The Vagina Monologues” were performed last night on the steps of the State Captiol in Lansing in response to the male Speaker of the House who banned use of the word “Vagina”, after a female representative used the term “my vagina” as part of her opposition to new abortion legislation.
- Attendees loved the performance and said it really hit the spot!
Mitt Romney’s campaign is being criticized because one of his campaign busses circled the block, honking the horn, during a speech by President Obama.
- Obama’s campaign staff said, “You can’t do that” and Romney’s people responded “Yes We Can!”
- They were trying to get the dog back who jumped off the roof of bus!
- Hey at least the dog didn’t lift his leg on the podium.
These hot, muggy days are the perfect time to treat yourself to the new Bacon Sundae at Burger King. It’s vanilla ice cream, fudge, caramel and bacon crumbles.
- If it catches on… next up: “The Pork-cicle”.
Tomorrow morning Regis and Kathy Lee will re-unite for one day on the “Today Show”.
- Regis has already begun taking Prozac and Vitamin B shots in preparation for the event.
Scalpers are selling tickerts to the first midnight showings of The Dark Knight Rises for $150.
- Add in a bucket of popcorn and a large drink, and you can get out of there for just under $300!
On this day in 1941, Cherrios Cereal was invented. The “O” shaped cereal had a 1/2-ince diameter, weighed .0025 ounces each, and one serving was 400 “O”s. It was originally called “Cheerie Oats”…
- It went over way better than his previous invention, “Depressed Rice”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
President Obama is under fire from opponents for halting the deportations of up to 800,000 children of illegal immigrants.
- The parents of teenagers who won’t be deported are mad as well.
- Republicans claim Obama is denying the kids “a great time at an extended Summer Camp”.
Mitt Romney refused to say whether he’d overturn the order because he said that he would offer a permanent solution that would make it irrelevant.
- He’s planning to strap the kids to the roof his car and drive them back to Mexico himself.
Arizona police arrested a woman after she allegedly stabbed her husband over a quiz in Cosmopolitan magazine.
- That’s why I always take those Cosmo quizzes while standing in line, alone, at the drugstore!
On her current tour Madonna is reportedly traveling with an entourage of 200 mostly male security people.
- This is the first case of men anywhere pleading for a woman to keep her clothes on.