North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is trying to cultivate a new, more positive image by letting his people have previously banned western foods like hamburgers, fries and pizza.
- Most popular so far? The “Puppy-roni Pizza”.
- He lets people eat the food, then for dessert, he has them arrested.
- Is it just me or does Kim Jung Un look like he’s been enjoying burgers and fries for years?!
On this day in 1931 President Hoover announced that due to a combination of hot weather and sore fingers, he would wait until September to resume shaking hands.
- Last week the 4 conservative judges on the Supreme Court used the same excuse for not shaking hands with Chief Justice John Roberts.
Have a great day… don’t forget our latest Podcast (#48) on the homepage or iTunes, and I’ll see you back here with some special Patriotic music for the 4th of July!
-Dick
It’s official… Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are calling it quits after five years of marriage. Actually… Katie is the one who pulled the plug and is seeking sole custody of their daughter Suri.
- Katie wants Suri… and Tom wants all of the magic solar powered crystals they got as wedding gifts.
- Tom says he’ll spend some time at his vacation home on Mars to think things over.
- Now Katie’s the one who’s so excited she wants to jump up and down on Oprah’s couch.
54-year-old Actor Alec Balwin married his 28-year-old yoga instructor/girlfriend over the weekend. Among the guests: Robert Kennedy Jr., Woody Allen, and Alec’s 16-year-old daughter Ireland, from his marriage to Kim Bassinger.
- Baldwin and his new wife will honeymoon at his vacation home on Neptune.
- Alec said the bride was beautiful, as was his “rude, thoughtless little pig” of a daughter.
- Ireland’s sixteen… which explains why Woody Allen showed up.
- The ceremony was private, but will be available next week on Hulu.
Due to recent spate of storms, Washington, D.C., could be without power for days.
- Unless the Supreme Courts holds an emergency session and gives them all the power they could ever want!
Doctors in India are studying a man who gets headaches when he watches porn.
- The doctors told him to take two aspirin and call them in the morning with the name of the movie.
- In India this is known as the “Charlie Sheen Syndrome”.
Today is “I Forgot Day”… A day to remember all the Birthdays, Anniversaries and other “Special Days” that you forgot during the year.
- Personally I celebrate this day every year. I’m actually down from “I Forgot Month” so I’m making progress!
Meanwhile, Saturday was “Leap Second Adjustment Day”. To compensate for the Earth’s slowing rotation, a second was added to the atomic clock.
- Which gave Jackie one more second to be depressed that it was her birthday and she was another year older.
On this day in 1937, Amelia Earhart was lost somewhere over the Pacific Ocean during her attempt to become the first woman to ever fly around the world solo.
- Apparently she was the first woman in history who didn’t stop and ask for directions.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! And don’t forget to check out my latest Podcast (#48)! It’s on the DickPurtan.com homepage now!
-Dick
Happy Pre-Fourth of July Weekend! Today we kick off the holiday festivities with verbal fireworks as Jackie and I are joined by the always humorus former “Purtan’s Person” Joe Noune. From the Supremes giving Obamacare the thumbs up, to a new study that shows people can get just as much pleasure from using Facebook as they do from having sex, it’s all in my latest Podcast. (Nancy Pelosi says you can get the same pleasure from Obamacare as you can from sex, but that’s another story!)
Joe also shares a great personal story about Jack Nicholson and our own Bill Bonds, and with the death of scriptwriter Nora Ephron at 71 - we’ll run down some of her greatest movie lines. (Be honest… she forever changed how we order at a Deli!)
Plus… Jackie explains what has to be one of the stupidest lies ever told by an ex-husband (hers) and re-counts a rather uncomfortable moment with her plumber when he told her that she had a broken pipe, but more importantly that she’s “hot”. (So much fun for a Father to hear!)
We even manage to talk about a dead turtle.
It’s a fast, fun conversation that will have you “oooohing” and “ahhhing” just like watching the fireworks - without all those pesky mosquitos!
Have a great weekend and stay cool!
-Dick
The Supreme Court has upheld the Constitutionality of the Obama Health Care Law.
- Now that it’s been declared Constitutional, Nancy Pelosi will read it and tell us what’s in it.
Speaking of health, President Obama returned home from several days of fundraising and was photographed eating hot fudge sundaes and chilli cheese dogs.
- When he got back to the White House, Michelle put him in a “Time Out”.
According to a Pew Research Center poll, most Americans don’t know much about the Supreme Court.
- I guess they lost interest after Paula Adbul was booted as a judge.
According to a new law, all businesses will be required to allow miniature horses to be used as “Guide Animals”.
- If not, they’re going to have to pony up a hefty fine.
- Thus the old adage, “A miniature horse can lead you to water, but it can’t make you drink.”
The Justice Department will also be enforcing “steepness” standards on the playing surfaces at miniature golf courses.
- Sounds like the Justice Department spends their days just putt-puttering around.
A study finds that people can get the same pleasure from using Facebook that they do from food or sex.
- Although most guys wait to “unfriend” their partner until after the sex is over.
- From now on, “Twittering” will be known as “Foreplay”.
Researchers are getting closer to understanding how apes think and what they’re thinking about.
- They found out by reading an in-depth interview with the male members of “Jersey Shore”.
Elton John has signed a seven-figure deal to write his autobiography.
- It’s tentatively titled, “I Like Rocketmen”.
On this day in 2005, Canada became the third country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage.
- Making it okay for a Man to marry a Man in Manitoba!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all-new Podcast!
-Dick
The Happy Birthday song was composed on this day in 1859. Time-Warner owns the rights to the song and makes about $5000 a day in royalties.
- How’d you like to be the guy who has to attend all those parties to keep count everyday?!
Cher is working with Broadway producers on an autobiographical show.
- The first half will cover her years as the mother of a daugher, and the second half as her years as the mother of a son.
- The show is tentatively being called: “Botox: The Musical”.
- The play will consists of three acts: Her 1st, 2nd, and 3rd “Retirement” Tours.
A report finds that vision problems are increasing among Americans. Experts believe hours of staring at a computer screen could be to blame.
- I was going to comment on this… but what’s the point? You probably can’t read it anyway.
A soccer fan in China died after staying up 11 straight nights watching the European Championships.
- He swore he’d go to bed as soon as somebody scored.
