More than 600 people were lined up at two hot-dog style carts in NYC where the Trojan company was giving away free vibrating sex toys, when a local government official shut the carts down. One woman said “Mayor Bloomberg doesn’t want people to have any fun… You can’t have a giant soda and you can’t have a vibrator”.
- There go her plans for Saturday night.
- Wait until Bloomberg realizes that people can put their cell phones on vibrate.
As of this week, the Internet is 21 years old.
- So if you see Al Gore today, be sure to thank him.
On this day in 1607 the first Thanksgiving Service was held by colonists in Maine.
- Boy, did they feel stupid when they found out Thanksgiving wasn’t until November!
Have a great day and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! Just click on any Suburban Collection ad on this page!
See you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast…
-Dick
John Conyers easily won his 20th primary election yesterday with 55% of the vote. His closest competitor got just 18%.
- Those “Vote For Me Or I’ll Send My Wife Monica To Your House” ads really paid off!
And speaking of “winning”… You could help your favorite local charity win their share of $40,000 in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”. Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page right now!
Kwame Kilpatrick and his father will be at the courthouse in downtown Detroit today as a judge begins the jury selection process for their upcoming Federal corruption trial. Potential jurors will have to answer a 28-page questionaire.
- To try and win over the jurors, Kwame has set up a “Lemonade & Bribery Stand” outside the courthouse.
- Carlita Kilpatrick is said to be so confidant Kwame will be found “not guilty” she didn’t even bat an eye!
Congrats to the Tigers for their 9th inning 6-5 win over the Yankees last night. They’ve now tied the club record of 10 straight victories at home and have won 16 of their last 17 home games - the best stretch since 1919.
A Canadian study found that obese drivers are more likely to be in car crashes and more likely to suffer serious injuries.
- That’s because the air bag can’t deploy when your “spare tire” is pressed up against the steering wheel.
- Among the serious injuries: Getting French Fries stuffed up your nose and being blinded by the Big Mac’s “Secret Sauce”.
A woman in Florida was arrested for outrunning a cop who was trying to stop her for speeding. She later told police that she couldn’t stop because she was driving topless.
- Doesn’t she realize that if she had stopped while driving topless the cop NEVER would have given her a ticket?
A Priest in Dearborn has been placed on administrative leave after he was caught driving drunk and naked through the streets of Detroit. He’s charged with driving under the influence and indecent exposure.
- He’d better get a pretty good lawyer or he doesn’t have a prayer.
- Police said “the collar” wasn’t even wearing his collar.
- The Priest said there was no need to arrest him as he’d already confessed to himself and given himself absolution.
Shelby Harris, the oldest man in the United States, has died at the age of 111.
- Why do the good ones go so early?
On this day in 1709 the first known ascent in a hot-air balloon by Father Bartolomeu de Gusmao of Portugal took place indoors.
- His parishioners suggested he go up in the “hot-air” balloon after listening to one of his sermons.
Have a great day and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 being given away in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveway”. It couldn’t be easier! Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page right now! Thanks and I’ll see you back here Thursday…
-Dick
The Mars “Curiosity” Rover is already sending back pictures from Mars.
- Luckily the guys at NASA have photoshop so they were able to fix the alien’s red eyes.
- The pictures looked remarkably similar to pictures of Tom Cruise’s last vacation.
- To be honest, I’d rather see pictures of Mars than pictures of Uranus.
Speaking of things that are “Out of this World”… now is your chance to nominate your favorite local charity to win big bucks in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! A total of $40,000 will be given away! And entering couldn’t be easier… just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page, and your favorite local charity will be one step closer to becoming a winner!
A University of Washington study found that average Americans believe they are losing weight even if they’re actually gaining weight.
- That’s because men have been taught to say “No” when women ask “Do these pants make my butt look big?”.
- This is what Spandex gets us…clothes that always fit.
- I guess this explains why Michael Moore was featured on the cover of “Buff Men Monthly”.
Porn star Jenna Jameson says she’s endorsing Mitt Romney for President.
- She says she’d give him the shirt off her back… if only she was wearing one.
- Jenna said it was a hard decision picking between two big boobs.
- Fred Willard says he’ll actually go door-to-door campaigning for Romney. He’s a real “hands on” kind of guy.
A former US Olympic swimmer said in an interview that nearly all competitive swimmers pee in the pool.
- Of course they pee in the pool! It gives them a faster start!
- Now we know why Michael Phelps lost his signature race… he took a split second to “wait for the shake”.
Marvin Hamlisch - the composer of countless movie soundtracks and Broadway showtunes including “The Way We Were”, “The Goodbye Girl”, “A Chorus Line”, and one of my all-time favorite songs “Nobody Does It Better” from James Bond’s “The Spy Who Loved Me” has died at the age of 68.
On this day in 1498 Christopher Columbus arrived in the Caribbean.
- That afternoon he bought an “I’m A Bahama Mama” T-Shirt for Queen Isabella.
Have a great day and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 being given away in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! Just click on any of the Suburban Collection ads on this page! Thanks and I’ll see you back here Wednesday…
-Dick
It’s Monday… a great day to nominate your favorite local charity to win it’s share of $40,000 being given away in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! It’s simple… just click on any Suburban Collection ad on this page. Yup… it’s just that easy!
*****
Trial lawyers in the Kwame Kilpatrick Federal corruption trial will begin interviewing potential jurors this week. They plan on talking to 400 people.
- If they can find 400 people in the city of Detroit who don’t already have an opinion of Kwame Kilpatrick, then I’m the Pope.
*****
Congrats to the Tigers for their amazing comeback last night at Comerica Park! They were down three runs in the 10th inning but swung back and won the game against Cleveland 10-8! Go Tigers!
*****
After 8 months and 352 million miles, the unmanned space rover “Curiosity” landed safely on Mars. The rover is about the size of a small car.
- NASA was going to go with a full-size sedan rover, but with gas at 4 bucks a gallon, they decided to stick with the compact.
The Rover will now begin searching for signs of life on Mars.
- Following that, NASA will send the rover to Hollywood to look for signs of intelligent life at Lindsay Lohan’s house.
*****
A Yale Universtiy student spent three years riding buses across America to research the various ways that people keep other people from sitting next to them on a long trip.
- Next up: A three year study of how men keep Fred Willard from sitting next to them in adult movie theaters.
*****
Today is National Fresh Breath Day.
- It comes on the heels of last Friday’s “National Garlic and Onions Day”.
*****
On this day in 1979 12-year-old Marcus Hooper became the youngest person to swim the English Channel.
- Hitler couldn’t cross the English Channel… but Marcus Hooper could!
Have a great day and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity to win it’s share of $40,000 in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”. Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page!
-Dick
Today Jackie and I are joined once again by former “Purtan’s Person” Tom DeLisle for a conversation that covers just about everything under the sun. From Kim Jong Un’s “Un-availablity” (the good ones are always taken!) to how some people (Tom and me included) have an unusual physical reaction when we’re really concentrating - the comments flow faster than Michael Phelps in an Olympic pool.
Plus… Tom shares some great personal stories about legendary Detroit Red Wing Gordie Howe, and I’ll tell you about a guy I met at a local restaurant recently who gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “I’m not from around here”!
So turn off the Women’s Beach Volleyball for a few minutes and listen in to our latest Podcast. It’s at least worth a Bronze!
Have a great weekend… and don’t forget to nominate your favorite local charity for their share of $40,000 being given away in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! Just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page.
And now… on with the show!
-Dick
Purtan Podcast #52 (27:06)
Quick reminder… The Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway” is underway! They’re giving local charities the chance to win a lot of money — a total of $40,000! To nominate an organization you feel needs help, just click on any one of the Suburban Collection ads on this page!